Another Comment on Unconditional Love

Jacque was unable to access the comment box. She says: We have been truly blessed to have experienced the response to unconditional love. It cleared the path for relationship. We are grateful for understanding the concept and for the loving growth it helped to produce.

Adventure Trip-Gold Lake Forest Highway

Saturday night we stayed in a "studio" room at a river resort in Graeagle. That meant the bed was in the wall and we had to take it down. Mooing cows woke us in the morning. We spent the day going from one stunning lake to another, fishing some, but mostly scouting. What a joyous day filling up with the splendor to carry home with us.

That night we found a place with a balcony overlooking the roaring Truckee River swiftly flowing through rugged canyons. We climbed down to the river and found a couple of chairs at the water's edge. Ev caught a fish while I sat writing.

Friendly people met us at these serene get-away places. Campgrounds, river resorts, and lakes level people. We all share the peace, beauty, and tranquility that enable us to feel joy in the present and let go of responsibility for tomorrow.

All of this joy shared with my soul mate! Who could ask for anything more! Long live unconditional love!

Four Day Adventure--Alturas, Modoc County

Tiny Alturas, the largest town in Modoc County, usually rolls up the streets well before midnight. Classmates, who had gathered for a high school reunion (classes 1951-1968), celebrated under a full moon most of the night. We felt like joining them. We asked John, our motel manager, about possible fishing lakes. He told us how to get to two small lakes-Blue Lake and Clear Lake.

We left Alturas early Saturday morning, turned left off of Hi.395 at Likely, a little town, maybe 75 population. Drove about 12 miles to a bridge, turned right, drove 5 or 6 more miles until we reached a fork in the road. We ended up at a pristine mountain lake where the only sounds came from forest creatures. It reminded me of the awesome silence of backpacking in our younger days.

Shallows along the shore made bait fishing difficult, but I watched in amazement as a beaver swam through my fishing line only a few feet from me. Later, a loon proudly showed off 12 babies as they swam close enough for us to take their picture.

We set out to find Clear Lake. Drove over gravel and rocks with cows beside the rocky road peering curiously at us. The game warden warned us to be careful, because this is wilderness area and the narrow gravel road goes along steep cliffs. We had to give up finding Clear Lake. We agreed this side trip was a great throw-back to our backpacking days, but without the packs. Our car did suffer some, I am afraid.

Four Day Adventure--Great for Relationship

Four days of just going north to explore the northeast corner of California. Starting point: Fair Oaks on Thursday, July 22nd. We decided to go Hw.65 through Marysville to Hw.70 and Lake Oroville. Then up the Feather River Canyon to beautiful Lake Almanor. The first night we spent in Chester at a Best Western motel.

The nest morning we drove to Hw.89 north through Lassen Ntl. Park. Gorgeous yellow snow flowers blended with green meadows and vegetation alongside the large patches of snow that were reluctant to give way to summer.

We stayed on 89 to Burney Falls about six miles north of Hi.299. We had heard that it was spectacular and we weren't disappointed. It could be as world famous as Yosemite Falls, Niagara Falls, and others. From there we turned east on 299 headed for the largest town in Modoc County, Alturas. I had no idea there were still roads in California where travelers rarely meet a car and no cars overtake you. We traveled past farms, through mountain passes and large fertile valleys. PURE SERENITY!

Unconditional Love-More from Monty (the Debate)

3. We love our children..correct? We do expect certain things from our children...correct? If our children do not meet these conditions, do we quit loving them? Some parents might quit loving their children, but the majority will continue to love their children no matter what reality is. These parents have unconditional love. They do not say, "I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine." Though these parents may have the desire, they do not enforce it.

4. The most outstanding example of unconditional love is God's love for us.....God desires I accept the fact that He died for me, but it is not a condition of his love. God's love is true love. There are no conditions attached.

Unconditional love does exist. Can it exist between husband and wife? I believe it can. It may be rare, but if husband and wife work toward "serving" each other through God, then they can achieve unconditional love. Can unconditional love exist the moment a couple meet? God works in strange ways!

Unconditional Love-Monty joins the Debate

I tried to put this on your blog but it said the message could be no more than 300 characters.

Conditional love versus unconditional love. To me, conditional love would be, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch your back. Unconditional love would be, "I'll scratch your back whether or not you scratch mine. I expect nothing in return."

I believe there is unconditional love. Here are four examples:

1. It has been said that we cannot have love for animals or inanimate objects...only for our fellow humans. Seeing as how I do not believe this, I can use objects and animals as examples of unconditional love. We love a vase...what exactly do we expect from the vase in return for that love? Most os us expect nothing. If I love a wild fox (pun intended), what do I expect in return from that fox?

2. At the church we attended in San Diego, there was a man whose wife was epileptic and in a wheelchair. The lady's body was terribly contorted. The only thing this lady could do for herself was talk. Her husband loved her and met all of her needs until the day she passed away. The man expected nothing in return. Even though the lady did love him, it was not a condition to be met for him to love her. There were no conditions attached to this man's love. This was his wife and he would love and care for her no matter what. Look for more from Monty...

Continuing the Controversy About Unconditional Love

Join us. Do you believe there is unconditional love? An interesting insight into this debate is my husband, Everett's story. We met when he was in the navy and I was a 21 year old school teacher in San Diego.

Here is how he tells it. "It was the first time I had felt such strong feelings for a woman. I asked myself, could this be love or could it just be the horny feelings of a sailor who has been out to sea and away from women for too long?"

"Then I thought, what if Elva were in an accident and was confined to a wheel chair and had to be taken care of? I felt actual pain at the thought. Yes, I would want to be sure she was treated well and had everything she needed. I would want to be the one to do that. It must be love."

That sounds like unconditional love to me and we weren't even soul mates yet.

Discover the Convenience of Being a Follower

I have a friend, Frances Kakugawa, who writes an interesting blog. I don't want to miss her posts when she makes them, so I became a follower. That has been convenient and I look forward to her new posts. Each time she puts a post on her blog I get an email letting me know. It's that easy.

I checked out my blog and discovered how easy it is to become a follower. While checking it out, I accidentally became my first follower. If you enjoy reading my posts, why don't you click the follower button. I would love to have many readers interested in learning how to become soul mates.

How Do You Measure Love?

Is it helpful to set up an evaluation form to check out how each person is doing in relationship? Maybe, if you are working with a good marriage therapist.

If you and your partner want to evaluate your relationship on your own, focus on what each of you are doing right. Years ago, I heard well-known clinician, William Glasser say, "There is no such thing as constructive criticism." I thought he was wrong.

I have learned that when it comes to relationship, he is right. People do not respond well to criticism even when it's meant to be helpful. Sometimes they will obsess about something their partner or parent thought would help. Years later they may bring it up again and declare accusingly, "but you said......" Not good for relationship!

Encouragement works wonders. Notice what you and your partner do right.

Controversy Over Unconditional Love

"Contrary to popular opinion," declares author Bob Quinlan, "there is no such thing as unconditional love." This statement reminded me of of my husband, Everett's warning to me during the first year of our marriage. He warned, "We will no longer love each other this much after we have been married a long time." After 55 years of marriage he happily admits he was wrong.

Unconditional love happens after two souls have evolved together over a period of time. His needs are my needs. My needs are his needs. We are so much a part of each other that his joy is my joy. When it comes to doing tasks, we are more likely to say, "You have done more. Let me do it," instead of "I do everything around here."

If author Quinlan continues his investment in his lovely wife for many years,I think he will be able to say, "I'm glad you were right, Elva."

Business Techniques Applied to Relationship

According to author, Bob Quinlan, the same principles you use to make business successful can work to make relationship successful. I read all 233 pages of his book, "Earn It Empower Yourself for Love" last week while vacationing at Wally's Hot Springs in Nevada.

I agree that relationship must be prioritized. You must invest in it if you want it to evolve into a satisfying soul mate experience. I don't believe you can earn brownie points. Attention has to be a current every day commitment. If you take your partner for granted you cannot expect closeness to continue. Neglect will endanger the relationship.

Author Quinlan emphasizes earning love. Somehow that concept doesn't fit for me. Certainly loving relationship implies interaction. It cannot survive if one-sided. If Quinlan means relationship has to be give and take, I agree. Do you think people can earn love?