Wally's Hot Springs in the Spring

We have just returned from a beautiful relaxing four days at our timeshare, Wally's Hot Springs. We chose to take Highway 88 to see the last of the high mountain snow. Silver Lake, Caples Lake, and Red Lake were peeking out of their winter covering of ice and snow. Photos do not capture the exquisite beauty of these Sierra masterpieces.

Wally's Hot Springs nestles at the base of the mountains about a mile south of the old historic town of Genoa where Nevada's first stage coach stop was established. Genoa brings thousands of visitors to its Candy Dance Festival the last weekend of September.

At Wally's the sounds of hundreds of birds fill the air in the spring. Dozens of geese strut in pairs across the vast lawns and walkway like couples who have just come from a mass wedding. One pair brings three tiny goslings out of their nest in the evening to feed on the green grass. In the morning they strutted proudly down the path with their babies running between them.

At night we watched hundreds of bats doing their spring cleaning, peeling insects off of plants and out of the air. The moon revealed three quarters of itself on its way to becoming full. We looked forward to sitting in the hot springs and gazing at the moon. Getaways make love grow!

Our Most Thrilling Getaway

One of the biggest thrills of my lifetime came in 1993 after purchasing our Kona Coast timeshare on the Big Island. In one of those "we can't afford it, but we'll pay for it somehow" moments, we decided to take a biplane tour of Hawaii out of the Hilo airport.

The sun gave luster to the cascading waterfalls as we flew up the coast from Hilo and then back over the Rainbow Falls and south to the mighty Kilauea Volcano. Our scarves waving in the breeze, the pilot flew the little open-air plane into the hot giant mouth of this monster still spewing ash and smoke. I caught my breath as we escaped and followed his drool down toward the sea. We flew low over a village frozen in time by hot lava which reached the rafters on some houses. Half buried cars lined the streets waiting for riders to dig them out. Surprisingly, the lava didn't have to touch me to freeze that image in my memory for as long as I live.

Overwhelmed and excited, as soon as my feet hit the ground after landing, I ran up to the gruff old pilot and gave him a hug that took him so by surprise he couldn't suppress a smile. This blog is for Hideko, a dear friend I met in California who grew up in Kapoho, the village memorialized by the great volcano. I have just finished reading her book, "Kapoho". What is the chance that I would meet France Hideco Kakugawa who grew up in a town that I will always remember? Getaways will enrich your relationships and your lives. I highly recommend Frances' book,"Kapoho".

What Can I Do To Make My Marriage Better?

Asking This Question Is a Good Beginning

Just asking this question indicates a strong positive mental attitude. Actively looking for what is right and how you can creatively make it better leads to other important questions. How can I learn and grow and support my partner's learning and growing? What are the opportunities for loving and being loved? What new insights can I experience and how can I use them to increase intimacy and love? How can we embrace each other as special separate individuals and balance our union with our strengths and minimize our individual weaknesses?

Change Requires An Open Mind

Because you have spent years coming up with your interpretation of reality, it is not easy to challenge that. Change requires an open mind, a passion for learning, and a willingness to change. You must be willing to see yourself as lovable, capable, and competent. Good relationship seldom happens when one person sees himself as less than his partner.

Explore Weaknesses and Strengths Together

You can help each other become aware of distorted perceptions. That requires you to be strong, not fragile and easily hurt and defensive. Perhaps if you both take time to list what you perceive to be your own weaknesses and strengths first, you will be better equipped to consider which ones come from distorted perceptions which have led to limited confidence in what you can or cannot do. To make your marriage better, you must both focus on each other's strengths. Just remember, whichever you focus on become twice as many as you had when you were single.