Cambria -Getaway by the Sea

 Sea Otter Inn

Excitement replaced the sadness of leaving Morrow Bay as we drove north on highway 1 toward the small seaside town of Cambria. I knew the Cambria Pines Lodge was headquarters for the Sandstone Properties. The Village Green Gardens in northern Oregon is one of their resorts. I featured it in my first Getaways booklet. I knew nothing about Cambria, a little town somewhat hidden on both sides of the highway along the coast.

                                                                                                              

 Cambria Pines Lodge



One of many scarecrows

We took the first exit and found ourselves winding around mountain curves with no town in sight. After some stops to ask for directions and u-turns to get back on track we arrived at Cambria Pines Lodge. To our surprise the lodge was surrounded by wonderful gardens much like the Village Green Gardens in Oregon. We met a delightful couple while exploring the gardens.

Scarecrows of all kinds guarded streets, houses, and businesses in the annual Cambria Scarecrow Festival. Obviously many creative people live in this interesting little town. Cambria also hosts two Sandstone Properties resorts. The lodge is nestled among pine trees on the east side of the highway. The other property, the Sea Otter Inn is north and west of the highway on the ocean. It is one of many interesting looking inns along Moonstone Beach Drive.

Across the street a wooden plank walking path attracts the guests and provides steps to the beaches, look-out points, and benches. I met interesting friendly people on the path. I watched an over-sized seal slowly climb a slippery wet rock and almost get washed off by big breaking waves.

The sun turned the sky blue and the ocean reflected the color of the sky. I wished I could take one of Cindy Sample's fun books and sit on a bench by the sea listening to the waves and inhaling the clean ocean air, but we could only spend one night at the Sea Otter Inn. I hoped we would return to Cambria some day when we could stay a week.

Masterpiece Hotel -- Morrow Bay Getaway

A Hotel with "IN-Room" Art

We needed an ocean "fix". We decided to go south this time. Ten years ago we participated in a city sponsored book sale in San Luis Obispo. We decided to return to Morrow Bay, a beautiful coastal town near San Luis Obispo where we stayed at a unique hotel called Masterpiece Hotel. Every room has at least five beautifully framed prints by famous artists. Our room displayed "Roseate Spoonbill" by John James Audubon; "Colors" by Kyosi; "Pinkie" by Sir Thomas Lawrence; "Poplars on a Hill" by Vincent Van Gogh and "Trees" painter unknown.

The first couple we met when checking in told us they were from Colorado. They said they come to the Masterpiece Hotel over and over because they like it so much. If we lived closer, we would probably do the same. Breakfast was served from 7:30 to 10:30 every morning. Wine, cheese and crackers from 5:00 to 7:00 in the evening. Guests can also use a spa and fitness center. Our room cost a reasonable $201.40 (including tax) for two nights.

Best of all, a short walk took us to the wharf where we ate a delicious lunch of sole piccata and of course, clam chowder at the Dockside restaurant. A road goes out to the town's famous Morrow Rock, home to peregrine falcons. We watched them near their nests on the side of the huge rock. A volunteer from a nearby college invited us to view them through his telescope. A couple of fishing boats struggled to get into the Bay through the wind blown waves of the ocean. A surfer used a kite to guide himself back and forth through big waves. Dogs and children played on the beach.

I highly recommend a Morrow Bay getaway. It helps to order sunshine so you can walk along the beach. Other choices include boat tours, wine tasting, quilting stores, art galleries, bird watching, missions, golf, hiking, bicycling, fishing or simply sitting on a bench watching the waves crash against the shore. Something for everybody!

Secrets of Long Term Love

Keith and Shirley Abbey-married 61 years
 

                                  by guest blogger Todd Creager   http://www.toddcreager.com

Long term love and I mean deep love, the kind of love where you feel that you would marry your spouse all over again after 10, 20, 30, 40 years of marriage does happen. There are couples that DO experience that kind of relationship. What are their secrets? I have learned from these couples, some people are clients, people I know in my personal life and even people I have read about in articles or seen on TV.

SECRET #1
Look for the best in your partner. I have heard many of these couples talk about the necessity to overlook each other's flaws; not to ignore them but at the same time not to focus on them. Definitely each partner kept in mind the good stuff, the positive attributes, and the things they enjoyed about their partner.

SECRET #2
Let them know how good they are. Not only did they look for and think about the best in their partner, they expressed it. They complimented their partners far more than they criticized them. It was easier to hear the negative feedback because they got plenty of positive feedback as well.

SECRET# 3
Be affectionate. They touched a lot and were affectionate with each other. As they got older, even if their sexual relationship changed somewhat, they never stopped touching. They adjusted to the aging process but kept the physical connection any way they could. They were not rigid when it came to approaches to touch and sexuality. They were able to talk openly about sex.

SECRET #4
Place a high value on the importance of the intimate relationship. They made relationship a high priority. They made time to be alone and intimate and enjoyed each other's company. They planned trips together and went on frequent dates. They often were different (as most couples are) but they found enough similarities of activities to do these things together.

SECRET #5
Tune in and be attentive and let your partner know you are there for him or her when needed. They were strong emotional supports in trying times. They would take turns being strong for each other during the occasional life tragedies and losses. They each felt a sense of deep caring for each other and trusted each other. Some of these couples had earlier times when the trust was disrupted but they learned how to heal and create trusting relationships. There was a sense that, "You are there for me."

These wise couples have reaped the benefits of these secrets to long term love. Now it is your turn.

Todd Creager at "Making the World Safe for Love"

Couples Married 50 Years or Longer Give Advice

Married 68 years

Secrets to a Long Marriage

Going directly to the experts, long time married couples, makes sense to researchers like sociology professor, Todd Migliaccio, California State University, Sacramento. He has interviewed and taped dozens of couples in long marriages including my husband and me. More than 100 couples contributed to "Married for Life", Honor Books by Bill Morelan, one of the sources I used. I have been sharing some of these experts' advice in my most recent blogs.

Interestingly, "spending time together" in one form or another was recommended more often than any other advice. A close second was commitment to the marriage. One person put it uniquely, "Never consider getting unmarried as an option."

Many other responses were repeated in different ways. These experts on love advised couples to  realize neither of you are perfect; practice cooperation, follow the Golden Rule, try to see each other's point of view, but agree to disagree sometimes. I tell my clients, "Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. If you focus on the strengths you will have twice as many together, If you focus on the weaknesses, you will have twice as many weaknesses. Which you focus on will determine how strong a marriage you can create."

Becoming lifetime soul mates is a unique rewarding adventure. If you remember the story , "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams, you will remember the discussion between Rabbit and Skin Horse  about what is real. Rabbit asks if it happens all at once or bit by bit. Skin Horse tells Rabbit it doesn't happen all at once. It happens when you have been loved over a period of time, but "it doesn't happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept." In other words, you must learn how to let go of defenses.

Couples Married 50 Years or Longer Give Advice

Walter and Mary Bieri

More Advice From Long Married Couples     The advice given in this series of blogs comes from a study of couples married 50 years or longer......


You have to really like each other. That means being able to listen to each other no matter what the subject.

Always be willing to walk away when a subject becomes too heated, but always be willing to come back to it when you are both calm.

Never call each other names when you are angry. Just say, I am angry right now.

Love must be nurtured. Kindness and respect are a part of the nurturing.

Share common goals and find common interests.

Give each other plenty of space to grow and accept each other just the way they are.

Share responsibility and care of the house, children, and the relationship.

Everyone has problems. Stay together and work them out.

Agree that it's okay to disagree.

Talk things out and never give up.

Couples Married 50 Years or More Give Advice

Dave and Jacque Leek 

Secrets of a Long Marriage from Couples Married 50 Years or More

I love my husband and he loves me. We work together. We talk things out, even though sometimes it may not be a quiet discussion.

You only get out of a marriage what you put into it.

Be individuals. Give each other space.

Have fun together and never get too old to hold hands.

Never give advice unless it's asked for and then be careful not to tell him/her what to do.

Take responsibility for your own feelings, needs, and happiness.

Friends will always let you down. Don't be fragile. Toughen up.

Never stop learning listening skills. Be aware of subjects you react to.

Do everything you can to express your love. Never let a day go without telling each other, "I love you."

Always make marriage and family a top priority.

Secrets to a Long Marriage

Gene and Georgia Schroeder

Couples Married 50 Years Or Longer

"We're seeing more and more couples that have lasted where friendship is one of the big factors. If they're from a close family, that provides a huge social network that contributes to marital longevity. Couples have more to draw on and more commitment to the greater good of the family."

That comment comes from Todd Migliaccio, California State University, Sacramento sociology professor. My husband, Everett, and I were one of the dozens of couples married more than 50 years interviewed by Professor Migliaccio. Interestingly, he was not married at the time.

My own mother died four years before she and my dad reached their 50th anniversary, but many older couples reach that milestone. Presently, more than half of American marriages have lasted more than 15 years according to census figures. About 30 percent of married couples celebrate 25 years together. Experts theorize about what makes it possible to make a marriage last. The true answers come from those who year in and year out through good times and bad, find ways to make their marriages work.

Look forward to future blog posts giving answers by those who have made marriage work. I welcome pictures of people who have been married 50 years or longer with their names and wedding dates.

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