Secrets of Love

You probably wouldn't be reading this blog if you weren't looking for some secrets of love. Filmmaker, Tracie Donahue, made a movie about how to stay married. She quit college to marry at 22 and 11 years later a divorce left her facing single parenthood with no way of earning a living.

Donahue, who lives in Rocklin, California, finished college with a degree in communications. In her movie, she interviews couples, counselors, teachers, and even a couple of celebrities, Robin Givens and Jack Gallagher. They all share what they have learned about love.

Basically, she warns that a wedding is not just a fairytale followed by living happily ever after. Everyone needs to learn what it takes to become soul mates. That certainly includes choosing a person who is also willing to learn. No one can do it unilaterally.

Relationship Markers

Markers become unique to you and your soul mate. On our first date we saw a movie with theme music called, "Indian Love Call". When we went to a fair together a few months later we heard the song, "Indian Love Call" come through the speakers. That date became the pivotal point in our new relationship. "Indian Love Call" became our song.

On our honeymoon we had sparkling burgundy with our dinner one night. For many anniversaries we had sparkling burgundy even though it was the only time in the year we drank it. These are markers. They bring warm feelings of remembering. A truly sensory way to celebrate closeness.

Interestingly, markers may change. At some point when we requested the song, "Indian Love Call" musicians would look puzzled and say, "I never heard of it.' I don't think they even make sparkling burgundy any more. We haven't drunk it for many years. We do have new sensory markers. The sound of the ocean, Jennifer Rush's "The Power of Love", steamed clams on valentine's day. All of these things are intimate reminders of our love.