Celebrating an "Elevator Speech" Win

Contests--Worthwhile or Waste of Time

Maybe I needed to boost my self esteem and confidence, but I had an insatiable attraction to competition as a high school student. As freshmen, my friend and I won the traditional freshman/sophomore debate, the first time it had been won by freshmen. I won the local Lion's Club speech contest and went on to the county event where I came in second. The winner went on to compete at the state level. A winning essay sent me to Sacramento as my high school's female representative to the YMCA Model Legislature where I met California Governor Earl Warren. Another winning essay resulted in a visit to the Freedom Train which was traveling around the country at that time.

College dampened my interest in competition, but every now and then as an adult I have entered writing contests. Rarely have I gotten even an honorable mention. I dismissed my lack of success to unfair judging. LOL.

This week it happened. My NCPA colleagues voted my "elevator speech" first place in a contest they sponsored. Here it is. What do you think?

"Give your relationship skills a rating. Do you kiss frogs and hope for a miracle? Go on a lifetime search for a "soul mate"? Become a therapist? Open my book, Becoming Soul Mates at any two pages and find something to talk about with your special person. Your relationship skills will soar."

That is an elevator speech!

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A 25th Anniversary Tribute

Jason Bassett to Heather Bassett

Twenty five years ago today I was honored to say "I do" to my most awesome wife. She has been my partner when the days were lean and when they were plentiful. She has been my treasured companion in three states and many apartments, usually pulling the heavier share of the load with two or three kids in tow. She has been my confidant when I need reassurance and my biggest cheerleader on the days when I didn't feel very cheery and on the days I felt triumphant. She has put up with the many ups and downs of advancement or promotional cycles, odd hours, working weekends, and changing schedules on short notice. She has put up with my meandering short attention span, the sore and not so great days of learning to ride horses or motorcycles and was always there when I returned from some expedition. She has been right beside me in the hardest times of my life and can bring a smile to my face when I need it most. And that as you all know is a tough thing to do. I have been the lucky one! I look forward to the next 25 years. I love you, Heather Bassett. Happy Anniversary.

Ten Reasons Nancy's Birthday Should Be a National Holiday

Birthday Tribute from Ted to His Wife

10.  She has the gift of hospitality. Our house is home to others including animals.
       She makes a lot of soup.

 9.   She rescued green, black, brown, and grey as New York fashion colors.
       Who else can make people blush red with grey skirt?

 8.   She's the only grey-skirted woman alive whose  personal spokesman is a pathetic wobbly
       deaf old dog. Every day Nancy translates Rose's elusive thoughts.

 7.   For 25 years she has demonstrated that the best teachers in the world truly love every
       single kindergartner on the 32-student roster. She comes home with a burden for
       every soul.

 6.   She gives equal status to guinea pigs, chickens, dogs, and squirrels. She objected to
       my shooting the two squirrels temporarily squatting rent-free in our attic.

 5.   Because of her concern for saving the earth, she fills a small bowl with water to wash 
       her face in the morning. You'd think I was draining Niagra Falls by rinsing my razor
       under the faucet. Now I only shave twice a week.

 4.   She's low maintenance. I have to beg her to buy clothes at Target instead of Eco-Thrift,
       a second-hand store. Those designer-brand fashions she finds only cost $3. I'm all for
       that.

 3.   She has many ideas for things to make, fix, or buy and only one husband. Gotta keep
       her working or she will overwhelm the male population of Folsom with honey-do lists.

 2.   She once owned a boat, found shore. She was nicer than Columbus, but 
       Columbus was probably a better sailor.
      
                and the number one reason she should have her own holiday..........

 1.   She has flirted with miracles on her wait to sainthood: Miracle Whip, Miracle Grow,
       Miracle hair products and she has miraculously put up with me for 35 years.

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day

My husband and I have always found any excuse to celebrate our love. Lovers look forward to Valentine's Day like football fans look forward to the Super Bowl when their team plays in it. They see it as the acknowledged celebration of love. Everett and I have celebrated nearly 60 Valentine's days together so we might legitimately qualify as experts on what feels romantic and what doesn't.

We don't go out to dinner. Many years ago we learned that lesson. Our favorite restaurant had a cozy dining room and tasty soul satisfying food. We made a reservation two or three weeks before Feb. 14th and looked forward to our romantic dinner for two. Imagine the let-down when we arrived to find the parking lot full and a line of people waiting to be seated. The bar had been turned into a dormitory style dining room with tables pushed together and couples seated next to strangers with a challenge to mingle. Service was exceptionally slow. Disgruntled diners surrounded us.

One of my friends shared they go out to dinner before or after Valentine's Day. On Feb. 14th they make valentines for each other and do something together they haven't done for awhile. It might be hot potato soup and a movie or a drive to nearby mountains.

A day set aside for love can provide all kinds of opportunities that most couple can't seem to fit into their busy every day schedules. Here are a few suggestions. Light candles and put on soft music and reminisce about special times you have spent together or warm memories from your childhood. If you are older, drag out family movies or photo albums. If you have young children, spend the evening making valentines for each other. Spend some time brainstorming romantic ideas. Even that can be fun..

Do hang on to something that has become a tradition if it guarantees a jump start to romantic feelings. For the past few years Everett has gone to a fish market to buy fresh clams. He learned how to steam them in a delicious sauce. I set up the table with fresh flowers, candles, a special table cloth and dishes. We chill a bottle of champagne and fill two glasses. We bought the glasses two at a time every anniversary until we had eight. We had to drive to an interesting gold era town, Nevada City, to get them. Lots of memories fuel the romantic feelings. Everett is retired and I am still working so this celebration fits nicely. The disappointing dinner has become one of our favorite stories. We laugh when we remember our mutual let-down feelings. Clams and garlic bread may not work for you, but find what does and Valentine's Day will become a day to remember.

Wayne and Evelyn Mullin Celebrate 70 Years

Connecting with Family at Christmas

Christmas provides an opportunity to connect with good friends and family. Every Christmas I look forward to a Christmas card from my Aunt Evelyn bringing me up to date on that part of my extended family. This year the Christmas greeting came from my Uncle Wayne via email. He let me know that he and Aunt Evelyn recently celebrated their 90th birthdays and 70th wedding anniversary.

Anut Evelyn can no longer write Christmas cards, something she has done all the years they have been married. She and Uncle Wayne met in high school. Soon after they married he joined the navy and became a World War II sailor. She always planned to go back to college when her youngest child reached Kindergarten. Twice, I believe, when that happened she became pregnant again. I don't know if she ever got back to college.

Uncle Wayne has a smile and laugh that can light up a room. He and Aunt Evelyn spent seventy years together, some difficult, some wonderful. Probably the past year has been the most difficult, but to be together seventy years is a blessing. Happy Anniversary, Happy Birthday, and Merry Christmas, Uncle Wayne and Aunt Evelyn.

Peace and Love at Christmas

Reflections at Christmas

Can you remember the first Christmas you spent with the person with whom you chose to spend your life? For us the first Christmas came six months after we married in 1955. That Christmas magically let us recapture the excitement and joy we remembered as children. We had very little money. We cut our tree and decorated it with blue lights and a few ornaments. The joy and excitement came from just being together.

I taught school and Everett attended college so we had two full weeks to enjoy listening to Christmas music, staring wide-eyed at Christmas decorations on Fresno's then famous Christmas tree lane, strolling through stores talking about what we would buy each other if we had money, telling each other stories about Christmas's past. At night we would turn off all of the lights except our beautiful blue Christmas tree lights. We cuddled on an old second hand couch and dreamed about the beautiful future we had together.

This week we sat on our lovely leather love seat with multicolored lights on our floor-to-ceiling artificial Christmas tree and remembered those early Christmas's and how exciting it was to be together. We both agreed it is still exciting in a deeply peaceful way. Christmas can still bring back an assurance that all is well if we sit still and take in the significance of Christ's message of peace and good will.

I wish you all peace and love this Christmas!

Have Fun Writing Christmas Cards

Sea Walk--A Haven in the Storm

At the end of July we made reservations for our Christmas card writing getaway at Sea Walk on the Northern California coast. This beautiful condo overlooking the ocean can magically turn an overwhelming task into a boost to Christmas spirit. We sit at a dining room table looking out at waves crashing against rocks a few hundred feet away. This year our arrival at the coast coincided with the first of three powerful storms that hit the state of California. While writing our cards we watched rain drops chase each other down the window pane. Wind teased us sending us to the front door to see if anyone was knocking.

Six does paraded single file past our big window as if they had been sent to entertain us. One evening a young mother deer cautiously fed on the lawn in front of our window while her two young fawns curled up in the grass near her.

Trying to watch a football game on the screen of a tiny TV was frustrating, but who needs football when nature provides superior entertainment. Anyway, we share stories with each other best when electricity is sporadic or somewhat limited. During short breaks in the weather we left the warmth of the fireplace and walked past a cluster of deer feeding on the wet green grass, to watch huge waves crashing against the bluff at Black Point Bay.We loved the nights cuddling in a cozy warm bed upstairs listening to the powerful sound of the wind, the waves, and the rain battering the roof of the condo.

If you dread writing Christmas cards, choose a place like Sea Ranch as a getaway. Start saving your money in a special Christmas card writing account. You will begin to look forward to writing Christmas cards in December 2013.

Connecting with Your Soul Mate at Christmas

Do You Connect or Disconnect at Christmas?

Are you someone who experiences Black Friday on and on during the days leading to Christmas or do you still get excited about the energy in the air during this special time of the year? The music, the shows, the lights, Christmas trees, shopping, eating, decorating, and the unusual flood of mail that comes through your mail box. Sometimes we have to create ways to connect. Six or eight years ago we decided to make Christmas card writing something to look forward to. We took our cards, address book and everything we needed to Lake Tahoe. We sat down soon after we had reached our timeshare and worked on Christmas cards. When we finished we had time to enjoy each other and the beauty of the mountains.

The next year we decided that the mountains in December can be a challenge because of the snow. We rented a condo for 3 days at Sea Ranch on the northern California coast. We have returned every December since then. The tiny post office at Sea Ranch is inundated with our 125 Christmas cards every year. We liked it so much we stayed an extra two nights at Sea Cliff in Gualala which is much cheaper and is also on the ocean. A Christmas card writing getaway transforms a formidable task into shared expectations of family, fun, and celebration.  Looking forward to this unique first event of the holiday season is a great way to increase Christmas fun and joy.

Valentine's Day Gift

Don't forget. Valentine's Day is just 15 days away. A perfect gift would be a book about love you can share together, maybe two pages at a time. The Search for Intimacy, the title of the first chapter of Becoming Soul Mates defines intimacy, tells you what keeps people apart, identifies barriers, challenges you to risk, and then describes the rich rewards as your relationship evolves into a soul mate relationship. Click on our website to find more information.

If not this book, here are more excellent relationship books. The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall; All-in-One Marriage Prep compiled by Susanne M. Alexander; The Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.; Love is Letting Go of Fear by Gerald G. Jampolsky,M.D.; Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson; What About Me by Dr. Jane Greer; To Understand Each Other by Dr. Paul Tournier. Reading a book together, two pages at a time can help you create valuable talking and listening skills as well as learning more about each other.

No Money for Christmas and Relationship

In a time when Christmas sales of electronic gadgets and toys are soaring, how do you show love and generosity to the ones you love when you cannot buy expensive gifts? My first thought is to go back to the simple "Little House on the Prairie" days. To see the children excited over gifts of barrettes and ribbons makes us realize how much commercialism has influenced our way of equating the money value of a gift to the the measure of love we have for each other.

The T.V. commercial, "Every kiss begins with Kay" implies that the cost of the gift tells how much the giver loves the recipient. Some of our best Christmases have been when we had little money. One year each person was to give the person whose name they drew something they owned that they valued. The gifts brought tears and hugs.

Our daughter gave her brother the seven books of Narnia she treasured and had collected one by one. He knew how much she valued those books.  From her rock collection one of our daughters gave me a beautiful green malachite which I knew was her favorite rock. Love filled our living room as we exchanged gifts.

Feel free to click comment and share some of your Christmas stories of love when money was not the measure. I will post them.

Celebrating Christmas with Christmas Cards

Are you dreading writing Christmas cards, wondering when you will find time? We have turned that tradition into one of the best Christmas celebrations of the Christmas season. We began writing the cards on getaways. The first year we wrote our cards at a timeshare at Lake Tahoe. No interruptions and a great incentive to finish them quickly. Unfortunately, we found that snow in December makes traveling to the mountains unpredictable.

Instead we found a condo at Sea Ranch to rent for three days. Winter rates make it a bargain. We sit at the dining room table and watch the surf crashing against the rocks. Sometimes deer feed in the front yard. We take breaks to walk on the ocean trail. At Black Point the ocean roars ferociously as large waves slap the beach and gradually erode the bluffs carving out a little bigger bay each year. Flowers, eager for spring, bloom proudly in the sunshine ignoring the fact that winter has not officially begun. Yellows. reds, purples dot the greenery pushing aside the weeds.

Yesterday Everett spotted a lone crane sitting like a statue on the edge of the cliff. "Maybe if I zoom in on him, I can get him on film," he said. Captured on film, the crane still looked far away. We have looked forward to our Christmas card writing getaways for at least ten years. It has become one of our favorite Christmas celebrations.

Celebrating Our 56th At Sea Ranch

You probably could not find a place better suited for getting to know your mate than Sea Ranch. Eight miles of walking trails beside the ocean, redwoods accessible across Highway l, sandy beaches, and rustic lodge rooms with ocean views provide the perfect setting for love making, sharing stories, and having fun.

We have celebrated many wedding anniversaries doing those things and more. We discovered Sea Ranch decades ago while on a camping trip to the California North Coast. We camped at Bodega Bay the first night, but it began to rain. The next day about an hour north we passed the Sea Ranch Lodge. On an impulse we decided to stop and find out what they charged to rent a room. In those days it was a little more affordable. We were hooked.

One year we visited Sea Ranch every month but two. There was no television, no telephones and the lighting was poor. We would sit and watch the sun set. We didn't turn on lights as we shared stories, thoughts, and dreams until the stars appeared and it was time for bed.

This year our anniversary was on a Thursday just as our wedding had been. Sea Ranch was the perfect place to celebrate. A half bottle of rose' brut was chilling in our room when we arrived. We didn't make it the two and a half miles to our favorite log beside the ocean, but we did walk to many favorite places.



The rythmic music of the waves welcomed us back. The yellows, reds, and oranges of the thousands of wild flowers invited us to record their beauty with our camera. The cool ocean breeze caressed us as it moderated the warmth of the sun. At this place, at this time, life is good as we celebrate being together for 56 years.







Valentine's Day the Lovers' Day to Celebrate

What are you and your special person planning for Valentine's Day? Look for special events like the "Authors' Signing Faire" at Westfield Galleria at Roseville. This event will feature authors with books about romance and love. I will be there with my book, "Becoming Soul Mates." Come and introduce yourself to me. This event is Saturday, February 12th. I am sharing a table with Pamela Johnson whose book is "Heart Pirate". It should be a lot of fun and what a great Valentine's gift for the one you love.

Whatever you do on Valentine's Day, take this opportunity to show someone you love them.

Celebrating Love on Valentine's Day

What is it about red roses, chocolate, and valentines that makes love seem so easy and everything seem so right? Valentine's Day on a Sunday is an added bonus unless you are a child.

We took full advantage of this day to celebrate love. A bluebery pancake for breakfast, attending church, then a small lunch in a restaurant overlooking the river, watching yesterday's Olympics all afternoon, and finally clams,garlic bread and champaigne for dinner.

How did you celebrate love on this Valentine's Day?

Only Two More Days!

Today I bought a Valentine table cloth. I have had a hard time finding pretty luncheon table cloths, so I was excited when I actually found a red one with hearts on it. Saturday we will get some flowers and clams. We already have the champaigne. We are both looking forward to Sunday. We will go to church together in the morning. I always look forward to a day I can spend with my soul mate. How about you? What are you looking forward to?

Excellent Ideas for Valentine's Day Celebration

I just discovered a blog full of ideas for celebrating Valentine's Day. It is
http://myvalentinesdayideas.com/blog/wp-com If you are looking for ideas, take a look at this blog.

Eight More Days!

If you are becoming soul mates, Valentine's Day is one of your favorite days of the year. It gives you a chance to express your love creatively. You can select a funny card, a sexy card or a mushy card. Sometimes we give each other one of each. We have come a long way from the time Everett said, "Get in the car. I want to show you something." He drove to a nearby store where cards were sold and led me to the card counter. "Here" he said picking a card he had obviously found before. "If I bought cards, this is the one I would give you. Now we won't have to buy it." He believed cards were a rip-off which took advantage of people's feelings. I loved cards! Now I even get a card from him on Easter. The first time he did that he had a satisfied look on his face as he said, "and you didn't even get me one."

Cards are certainly a big part of Valentine's fun. Even Ev has fun with them now! It's all a part of becoming soul mates.

The Countdown Continues

TEN MORE DAYS!
So what will you do on that Sunday to make your loved person feel special? If you live in the north area of Sacamento "Becoming Soul Mates" is available at Flower Power at the corner of Madison and San Juan. Others can order it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.Whatever you do, have fun doing it!

Twelve More Days until Valentine's Day

Just 12 more days until Valentine's Day, the day of lovers. Hopefully, for you every day is the day for love. Are you reading my book, "Becoming Soul Mates"? If you are, let me know what has helped you the most. I am finding that more and more experts are making the same point. Initially in relationship you believe your love cannot get stronger. People in happy long term relationships all say the same thing, love grows as you learn to accept your partner and love him/her just as they are. After being married for 54 years, I can tell you Everett and I are truly soul mates. Difficult times can be opportunities for growth and learning which lead to stronger relationship or you can use them to blame your partner and disconnect in a way that can lead to destruction of love. Becoming soul mates doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of being loved and accepted. People don't just fall in and out of love.

I hope you enjoy the count-down to Valentine's Day. We will.

The Day Lovers Remember

If you are a lover, you probably have already been anticipating Valentine's Day, the day to celebrate love. Our celebration of Valentine's Day has become a tradition. Champaigne, steamed clams and garlic bread on a festive table with fresh flowers in the middle.

You probably have your own way of celebrating--perhaps something unusual like a gift of chocolate covered strawberries. You might consider buying my book, "Becoming Soul Mates" and find a couple of pages to read and discuss. You can open it at almost any point and find two pages to read and talk about. Together you can talk about how much you love and feel loved. A great day to celebrate love!
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