Carolyn Hax on What Brings Couples Close

"Entrusting your hearts to each other and regarding that trust as both a lofty honor and a mundane set of daily responsibilities," writes Carolyn Hax, "that's what brings couples close." Carolyn writes for the Washington Post and other newspapers.

We will be talking more about the importance of opening up to understanding. You cannot understand each other if you don't have mutual openness. That means no secrets. Talk about everything. In order to have peace many couples avoid emotionally charged subjects. Those subjects are probably important for coming to true understanding and acceptance of each other. REMEMBER! You will never become soul mates if you cannot trust your lover with your heart.

What Is the Secret to Long-term Relationship?

I asked this question to a group of couples who had been married 40 years or longer. Many of them attributed their long-term marriages to faith. Also, high on the list were similar values, commitment, sense of humor, showing affection and saying "I love you" often.

Here were some of the other responses:
--talk about disagreements. Don't lose your temper.
--compassion
--give 150% each
--do your share
--cherish each other
--trust
--fight fair

One man said, "I used as my guide--I don't want to have to say some day, I wish that-----" What do you think is the secret to long-term relationship?

If Your Partner Doesn't Talk to You

Are you one of those many people who complain that your partner doesn't talk to you? A client of mine asked her husband, "If you had it to do over again, would you do the same thing?" She expected him to say, "Yes, of course. I could never live without you." Instead he said thoughtfully, "I don't know."

His answer hurt her. "I wouldn't change a thing," she said. "I feel like he doesn't love me." He was surprised. "I was thinking it would have been better if I had waited until I was more financially secure," he said.

How sensitive are you? Are you so fragile that your partner is afraid to share feelings with you? If you want a truly soul mate experience, you must be willing to be tough enough to hear feelings without fear.

Anne Hathaway Ends a Relationship

Anne Hathaway ended a 4 year relationship with Raffaello Follieri in June of 2008 when she learned his charitable foundation was under investigation. Later he was sentenced to prison for 4 and a half years.

In an interview with Barbara Walters following the Academy Awards, Anne said, "Loving is not just giving. It is also receiving."

Are you able to receive as well as give? Anne shared an important truth. A good relationship requires give and take and cannot be one sided and still thrive.