Wholeness of Each Person--Separation or Soul Mates?

Borrowing from Anne Lindbergh again, she describes wholeness. "With growth, it is true, comes differentiation and separation in the sense that the unity of the tree-trunk differentiates as it grows and spreads into limbs, branches and leaves.
But the tree is still one, and its different and separate parts contribute to one another.

I like this picture of the soul mate experience better than when two people at a wedding extinguish two candles after lighting one together. Unfortunately, it does not happen that quickly. It takes years for individuals to grow a tree whose branches enhance the tree that has just been planted. Strong branches make a strong tree.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh On Relationship

In her book, "Gift From the Sea", Anne Morrow Lindbergh reflects on the seasons of life and love. As the sea gives up its gifts of beautiful shells, so does her mind bring up its treasures. She uses shells as symbols to describe the stages of life as each woman grows toward wholeness and fulfillment.

Just as I do in my book,"Becoming Soul Mates", she stresses the importance of filling up, nurturing your own soul. She puts it this way: "I want to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out my obligations and activities as well as I can."

I would go even farther. I need to be at peace with God and the significance of life--to know that I am a once in history event and that at every stage of life I am becoming who God created me. Interestingly, the stage of life I am now living is in many ways the hardest. I am painfully conscious that my time is limited and so many goals remain. At the same time losses occur more rapidly, less energy, less hearing, poorer eyesight, friends dying. Growing old takes courage, but wisdom increases.

Poetry, Weddings, and Renewal

The ocean rushed toward me purring
Playful white caps danced on its surface
or pretended to spout like whales.

As I lay watching on the window seat
the ocean filled my ears and I fell asleep
as the purring became a part of me.

After reading Poet Frances Kakugama's book, "Teacher You Look Like a Horse", I have been motivated to write poetry again. Sea Ranch spawns poetry, weddings, and renewal. Whenever we come here in the spring, Everett finds a bride and groom to gift with my book, "Becoming Soul Mates". We gave 2 books away this weekend.

Return to Sea Ranch

A get-away to Sea Ranch over the years has taken us out of the many distractions of our every day life and given us the chance to return to the simplicity of first love with its exciting conversations unburdened by deadlines and responsibilities. This kind of return to the sea never grows old.

We have just returned from a two night trip unlike any other. We left our cosmetic case sitting on the dresser in our bedroom. It contained the medications that go along with this season of our lives, but we managed to survive.

I read Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gift from the Sea", a beautiful book I have had on my bookshelf for years and had never read. In the next few days I will share some of her wisdom regarding relationship. Look for it right here.

Will Menstrual Apps Save Relationships?

Today's newspaper reports that menstruation apps for men are a booming market. "PMSBuddy", for example, boasts "saving relationships one month at a time". These devices allow men to track menstrual cycles of the woman in their lives. During PMS time a female symbol appears sporting devil horns. If my husband bought such a device I'm afraid his IPod would end up in a garbage can and my "horns" would be extended far beyond the "menstrual cycle".

I read the article in amazement. I thought if men put as much effort into learning to talk to and understand a woman, they would accelerate the process of becoming soul mates. They would also increase the fun and joy that getting to know and accept each other brings. What do you think?

A Little love Can Create Relationships

Dateline recently showed the poignant story of teacher Karen Longoria. Karen gave birth to triplets 3 months early. A year later she was divorced. Two of the children developed spinal muscular atrophy, a progressively crippling disease. Two months after they were diagnosed Karen was diagnosed with cancer. She had moved her family back to her home town of Grafting, Wisconsin where unemployment had doubled. People were depressed and discouraged.

Karen had rented a small house that didn't accommodate the children's wheel chairs. The town people formed a group "A Circle of Friends". They found the family a place to live for a month. Hundreds of people gutted and rebuilt the house making it wheelchair friendly. Seventy workers a day worked to finish in a month. All material was donated. It miraculously changed the town's depression to hope and faith. Many new relationships began.

A volunteer interior decorator who had lost her little boy 19 years earlier said, "It was the first time in 19 years that I didn't feel pain. I felt joy." That is what love can do.

A Little Love Works Wonders

A number of years ago, a client shared an incident from her childhood. She was the 4th child in a family of 6 children. The other members of the family were loud and boisterous. She was small, timid, and shy. She was the classical invisible child in the family. One Sunday morning at church when my client was about 8 years old an older couple asked her parents if they could take her home for dinner and to spend the afternoon. They made her feel like their special guest. She said, "It was the first time I had ever felt special. It changed my life."

A small act of love caused a life long feeling of worth. Amazing, what a little love can do!

A Little Love Can Work Miracles

"A Little Love Can Work Miracles" is the title of a workshop I will lead for the Fair Oaks Presbyterian women's retreat at Woodleaf on Saturday, May 1st. Attendents will figure out their love quotient and share stories about the power of love.

Many years ago when I taught first grade at Wilson School in Sanger, California I discovered that some of my little students did not know it was their birthday on that special day. Those children came from large farm labor families. I realized many children had never received a letter or card so I decided to send birthday cards to all of my students.

I continued to send cards to all of my students after I left teaching. Over the years they responded with telephone calls, letters, and visits. Sadly, I lost many through the years. Now I am reconnecting with some of them on facebook.

One student, who called to thank me, said that until he started getting birthday cards he had never felt special. It was especially important to him while he was serving in Vietnam. "Now," he said, "I want to do that for my children and grandchildren."

Sending birthday cards, such a little act of love, and to think that all these years later, it is being passed on to new generations!

Share some of your love miracle stories.

Lovers Say "I Love You"

It is not only necessary to love,
It is necessary to say so.....French proverb.

If you resist telling those you love that you love them, what are you afraid of? They will take advantage of you? You will become vulnerable? You will lose power? You will look weak? Anyone can say those words whether they mean it or not?

Lovers tell their special person "I love you" over and over again. I have heard those words every day for many years from the man I love. I never get tired of hearing them.