Evelyn and Leonard Lauder Give Advice

Katherine Rosman wrote a column titled, "Lessons Learned From an Epic Marriage." I read it in the Sacramento Bee dated 11/20/11. Evelyn and Leonard Lauder lived and worked together as they did for Estee' Lauder, the cosmetic company founded by Mr. Lauder's mother in 1946. The Lauders had been married 52 years.

"Mr. Lauder sat down with me first," writes Rosman. "When Mrs. Lauder walked into the den in a pink boat-neck dress, he stopped what he was saying to me, turned to his wife and said, 'Don't you look pretty.'"

The Lauders gave some good advice. One rule, never ever threaten divorce in jest or in anger. Another key to a great marriage is to learn each other's rhythms, and how to read them. Another way of saying, stay open to learning about each other. The Lauders agreed they were hardly ever on the same emotional wave length, but they were smart in taking turns between willfulness and acquiescence.

Mrs. Lauder died at 75 November 12th. Rosman noted, "There is an inherent sadness in the fact that the more epic a marriage, the more devastating the loss must feel." That is true, but soul mates will have accumulated an abundance of great memories to help them deal with the loneliness.