Satir's Fifth Freedom

The Freedom to Take Risks in One's Own Behalf, Instead of Choosing to be Only "Secure" and Not Rocking the Boat.

According to Satir, congruence comes from being emotionally honest which is necessary for making contact. That means taking risks. Taking risks is doing something you have never done before or doing the same thing in a new way. For growth we must all be willing to change. A wise thinker coined the phrase, no gain without pain.

Change creates anxiety. Welcome anxiety as an invitation to learn and grow. You handle it by giving yourself encouragement and affirmations:

• "My anxiety tells me I am choosing to risk. I can manage it."
• "What do I need to learn from taking this risk?"
• "What can I do differently to make this situation better? Do I need to set boundaries? Do I need to risk? Where does my power lie?"
• "I am choosing to love. I am choosing to put down my shield. What an adventure!"

As you learn to take responsibility for your own anxiety, you open up to loving and being loved with no strings attached. A world renowned family therapist, author, lecturer and consultant, Virginia Satir's work, books, and posters had a profound influence on my life, books, counseling, teaching, and now on my blogs. Her five freedoms are at the heart of her wisdom.

The introduction to her little book, "Making Contact" begins with this. "I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen by them, heard by them, and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and to touch another person. When this is done I feel contact has been made."