KING EDWARD VIII and WALLIS SIMPSON

A STRANGE LOVE STORY

A scandal that rocked the world could more correctly be called the greatest dysfunctional love story. Wallis Simpson, a domineering twice divorced American married King Edward VIII, who was unmarried at age 41 and the world's most eligible bachelor.

"She promised to bring into my life something that wasn't there," Edward explained in his 1951 autobiography. "I was convinced that with her I'd be a more creative and more useful person."

Falling in Love Can Be Deceiving

What Edward had hoped for did not happen. Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin made the King choose marriage or monarchy. The King, as head of the Church of England was forbidden to marry a divorcee'. His brother was crowned George VI.

The couple lived in Paris for the rest of their lives. "You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance," Wallis told a friend. Were there regrets? "There were lots of them on both sides," according to Gore Vidal. Wallis Simpson "was bloody bored with the King and wanted out," according to Donald Spoto, author of "The Decline and Fall of the House of Windsor."

The story of King Edward and Wallis Simpson may always be classified as one of the greatest love stories. It may also be one of the greatest lessons about what not to do if you are looking for fulfilling relationship.

THE GREATEST LOVE STORIES

A Great Love Story 

The 1996 February issue of People Magazine featured "The Greatest Love Stories of the Century." The introduction to the stories began with a quote from Zelda Fitzgerald in a note to F. Scott, "I want to love first and live incidentally."

The greatest love stories chosen by the magazine were: Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Marilyn Monroe and Joe Dimeggio, Stanford White and Evelyn Nesbit, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Ernest Hemingway and Agnes Von Furorosky, Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, Elvis Presley and Priscilla Beaulieu, Kathryn Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, Boris Pasternik and Olga Ivinskaya, William Randolph Hearst and Marion Davies, Grace Kelly and Prince Ranier III, Dashiell Hammett and Lillian Hellman, Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis, Billy Graham and Ruth Bell, Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda Sayre, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Colin Powell and Alma Johnson, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Jackie Robinson and Rachel Isum.

The magazine ended its introduction with, "Whatever feelings they arouse, it's a good idea to savor these stories.; In the age of the 30 second marriage, they may come no more." What do you think and who would your list contain? I think I would start mine with the great love stories in my blog. Becoming soul mates requires commitment and work, but the payoff is awesome. I believe great love stories will always exist.

Greatest Lovers of the Last Century?

WERE RICHARD BURTON and ELIZABETH TAYLOR SOUL MATES?

Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor apparently had everything most people think they want to be happy. Elizabeth was just 30 years old when she met Richard and she was already in her fourth marriage. Despite numerous flings, Richard, 36, was still married to his first wife and had two children. After divorcing their mates, they married in 1964. Their marriage was fueled by excess--passion, pleasure, alcohol, money, fame, partying, travel, sexual attraction. BUT, were they soul mates?

SEX and PASSION ARE NOT LOVE!

Sex can be great fun, but good sex is not enough to insure lifelong soul mate relationship. It is the icing on the cake. True love makes sex memorable and accelerates the desire to do what it takes to create a soul mate relationship. Soul mates touch often. Connection is just a smile away. Love fuels a multipurpose passion--desire to please, to transform feeling into touch, to connect, to briefly feel one with your mate. In many ways Burton and Taylor's relationship could be described as a great tragedy rather than the greatest love story. They went on to marry other people and Burton died at age 58 of a cerebral hemorrhage. Years earlier he had written in his diary, "The upshot is that I'll die of drink, while she goes blithely on in her half world."

LOVE AT 80--Doug and Wilma Cross

Doug and I were Bank of America employees, but did not meet until after we had retired and attended a retiree luncheon with our spouses.. We found we had many things in common. We had lived, attended school, and knew some of the same people in Idaho. Several years later we had both lost our spouses, but we remained just friends.

On our first date we planned to go to dinner and a movie. I was getting ready to go to Russia with a Missions group. That morning I had to get a Hepatitis C injection before I could go. After eating dinner, we were finishing a glass of wine when I became violently ill and lost consciousness. Doug had to look in my purse to find my insurance card and call my son to tell him where I would be going by ambulance. He stayed with me at the hospital until my son could get there. That really impressed my family. We still have not seen the movie. We dated a few more times, but neither of us was interested in getting married and we drifted apart.

One morning, two years later, Doug called me and asked me to lunch. After a couple more dates, I began to think Doug had "changed" and I kind of liked him. It was probably me who had changed. I began to pray for guidance. I didn't know it then, but Doug was praying also. It didn't take long before God revealed his plan for our lives in a very dramatic way. We were married about 6 weeks later. On January 30th we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. What a wonderful year this has been!

KISSING

Relationship Skills Center, Sacramento, California from http://www.livesimplylove.com/

I have lots to say about kissing, but I'm only going to focus on one aspect today: the 10-second kiss.

Last week my mother-in-law told me about a segment on The Today Show about kissing. You can watch the 4-minute video about the importance of kissing here. A big part of the segment is about the first kiss related to dating, but right about 3:00 minutes into the conversation they talk abut the 10-second kiss (the article on the same page talks about it a bit more).

What they don't mention on the show is oxytocin, sometimes known as the "love hormone" (Google it, I swear this is true!) as the reason WHY kissing for longer than just a peck on the lips is important. When we cuddle, hug, kiss, and engage in other types of intimacy our bodies release this hormone that increases and reinforces attachment.

We first learned about this shortly after we were married. A counselor we knew suggested that engaging in long drawn out hugs (10-20 seconds) at least once a day would strengthen our marriage over time. The reason-oxytocin! Our bodies are actually created to chemically respond to the love and nurturing of a committed relationship. And longer kisses do the same thing.

Fascinating, isn't it?  For more information on relationship skills check out my book, Becoming Soul Mates--How to Create the Life-long Relationship You Always Dreamed Of.

THE ULTIMATE GIFT OF LOVE

                                           Gourmet food to watch the Super Bowl


Saving the life of another person has to be the ultimate gift of love. To be a living donor of half of your liver goes way beyond the love most of us are willing to give. Incredibly we have had five volunteers for our daughter, Janee', over the years. The hospital puts them through a host of tests.

DISAPPOINTMENTS
The first volunteer, our son, Eric, turned out not a match. Over the years three more people did not qualify. Unfortunately, neither her father or I were eligible because of our ages. Under age 55 is a hard and fast rule.

VOLUNTEERING FOR FAMILY vs. VOLUNTEERING FOR STRANGERS
I would have given my liver gladly for any of my children or my husband, but I don't think I would be willing to do it for someone outside of the family unless they were a long time friend.  Kathy, Janee's donor, had known her for a relatively short time when she volunteered. Neither Kathy nor Janee' has ever had surgery so that is a huge unknown and of course produces a lot of anxiety. What love! Kathy and Janee' have become soul mates in a very short time. Kathy's liver should regenerate in two to three months after the surgery and she will have saved Janee's life. Can you think of a greater gift of love?

Are Marriages Ending at Mid-Life?

Newspapers this week featured alarming news about escalating numbers of people in mid-life and older ending their marriages. The question was, WHY?

COMPUTERS!THAT'S IT!
Every morning I get up to a good-natured fun loving guy. My first question to him is, "Are you going to work on the computer today? The computer turns him into a raging angry man whom I no longer recognize. I have decided that the computer is destroying marriages and blowing up any chance of great relationships evolving into soul mate status.

SO PLEASE! Listen to me.
Everyone take those computers and donate them to the electronic waste collectors and take back your marriages. Maybe getting rid of all electronic devices would give you a chance of walking or riding bikes in the park, walking on the beach, going skiing, and a thousand other things couples in love like to do.

CHEER UP! THERE IS HOPE!
There still are thousands of love stories out there and many people who have learned how wonderful long-term marriage can be in spite of owning computers. Sometimes it takes a second or third try at relationship, but you can get there. It helps to have a good counselor who believes in long-term relationships to help you figure it out. Reading blogs like this one can help as well. GOOD LUCK!