How Important Can Cards Be?

My husband grew up in a family where greeting cards were not exchanged. Birthdays were not a big deal. In my family on our birthdays, we were the King or Queen for the day. We didn't have much money, but attention doesn't cost anything and there were always cards purchased or hand made.

This difference was a source of hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Everett said that cards were a rip off. I said cards were a great way to express love. One birthday Ev said, "Get in the car. I want to show you something." He took me to the card counter at a nearby store. He went straight to a certain card, picked it up and handed it to me. "There. That is the card I would give you if I bought cards.

Everett has learned that cost is not as important as the message your soul mate gets from you. He even gives me cards on Easter now. One year on my birthday he gave me two cards--one sweet and sentimental, the other one funny and sexy. I still have them both!

Let the Little Things Go

My husband has a tendency to leave drawers, doors and jam jars open. At first that irritated me and I asked him to please try to remember to close them. He tries to remember but I think he was born with the opening reflex and the closing reflex is missing. It still irritates me, but I realize it is not a conscious thing with him. On a scale of 1-10 in importance it is right at the bottom so I have learned to let it go. It's not that hard to close drawers myself. We even sometimes joke about it. I have to admit that sometimes I close things loudly.

When something Everett does or doesn't do irritates me, I ask myself two questions, "How important is it?" and "If I say something, will he do it differently?" Usually the answers are "not important" and "no". So I let it go. I also remind myself that I probably do a lot of little things that irritate him and he likes me anyway.

Where is Your Focus?

Everyone I know has an equal amount of strengths and weaknesses. How you live your life will depend on which you focus. If you focus on your weaknesses it gives them power and they can overwhelm and discourage you. If you focus on your strengths, you can lead a very productive life.

A couple who focuses on each other's strengths has twice as many strengths together. The weaknesses become less important. If they focus on each other's weaknesses they have twice as many weaknesses and it is hard enough to live with our own weaknesses. A couple with twice as many strengths is powerful and can live with confidence and joy.