Satir's Second Freedom

The Freedom to Say What One Feels and Thinks

Virginia Satir, a wise woman, lists what she calls, The Five Freedoms in her book, "Making Contact". We often hear the word power used in a negative context. Essential to living life well we must understand the importance of personal power. Satir's five freedoms make personal power possible, because one relates from one's authentic self.

You may raise your eyebrows in disbelief when you read the second freedom, "the freedom to say what one feels and thinks instead of what one should." Knowing what you feel and think and accepting that allows you the freedom to respond appropriately and wisely when relating to others. Satir explains, "Making real contact means we make ourselves responsible for what comes out of us."

Own Your Own Feelings and Behavior

Owning our own feelings and behavior is prerequisite to change through all of Satir's work. It is essential for self-acceptance, growth and change. Giving our personal power away leads to living as victims, always reacting instead of acting. Some people live their lives always focused on what they don't have and believing good luck has made it possible for others to have happy relationships and marriage.

Good relationships and happiness don't come from good luck. They come from good choices and hard work by two people willing to learn and grow together. Living as a victim robs you of personal power and a happy relationship eludes you. Start where you are. Own your feelings, behavior and strengths. Then you can make contact from an authentic self.