7 Ways to Keep Romance Alive When Money is Short

Times are tough! Time after time surveys show that couples fight most often about money and sex. Money experts say that financial success does not depend on how much you make, but on what you do with what you make. Here are seven suggestions for keeping romance alive while surviving the money crisis.

1. Develop an attitude of thrift. Pennies, nickles, and dimes make dollars. The wise money manager thinks in terms of nickles, dimes, and quarters.


2. Make do with what you have. Sell what you don't need, buy what you need at garage sales or thrift stores. Use old fashioned cleaners--soda and ammonia.


3. Smart shopping makes cents. Take advantage of seasonal sales. Never go shopping without a list. Shop intentionally, not impulsively.


4. Give gifts of time and talent.


5. Barter goods and services. Find friends with whom you can trade.


6. Scuttle bills with skills. Use each partner's skills as often as possible to eliminate the necessity of spending money for labor..


7. Avoid money pitfalls. Pitfals include impulse spending, excessive credit buying, and depending too much on a second income..

Talking, brainstorming and working on these skills together can make you feel closer to each other. And remember, sex is free so enjoy it with each other often.

Is Marriage Doomed and Outdated?

The Sept. 21,2008 issue of Parade Magazine ran an article entitled, "The Truth About American Marriage." Their national poll found that marriage seems to be working quite well for most people. About 88% of the people surveyed said they were happy or reasonably content in their marriage.

Parade"s respondents also gave positive explanations for why they stayed married, with 71% choosing "deep love" as a reason and 73% citing "companionship". Half of them described thir marriages as "loving and joyful" and nearly a third characterized them as "peaceful coexistence".

When you read that Madonna and Guy Richie have broken up after years of marriage or that Bill Murray and his wife, Jennifer are divorcing, don't throw up your hands in fear that marriage will soon be outdated. Most of us married people continue this process of becoming soul mates and it gets better and better as we learn to give each other the gift of acceptance and deep conscious love.

Dancing in the Rain

Those who believe only sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain. Some of our greatest memories come from dancing in the rain. Be willing to do something different.

Skating on country roads on a full moon night. Making love on the side of a mountain. Roasting hot dogs at the river. Back pack trips in the mountain wilderness. Climbing a tree and singing old songs. Sleeping in the same sleeping bag at the top of a waterfall in freezing weather. Going gold panning. Renting a boat and rowing across a lake. Flying in a biplane. Fishing mountain streams. Looking for sea shells at the beach. Attending churches very different from yours. Going to marriage retreats. You can probably add many exciting adventures of your own.

When we had been married for about 10 years, Everett took a two and a half year job in Germany. While we were there we traveled to 16 countries. We rediscovered each other and renewed our love. Dancing in the rain is great. Try it.

Touch Is Healing

Good news for couples wanting to become soul mates.....researchers have found that massage and other supportive and caring touch lower stress hormones and blood pressure, particularly among men, while also enhancing oxytocin, a hormone believed to calm and counter stress. The findings will be published in the Oct. 14 issue of the journal "Psychosomatic Medicine".

Touch comes easily to soul mates. They touch hands and fingers throughout the day. They touch toes in bed. They cuddle and rub each other's backs, legs, and feet. Touch creates closeness, warmth, and joy. Now we can add healing to this list of pleasures and well-being.

Nurture Love by Getting Away

I have missed a week of blogging. We have been at our timeshare at David Wally's Hot Springs Resort at the foot of the Sierra Nevada mountains. From our third floor balcony we could see streams and fields in the Carson Valley wetlands. Thousands of sparrows migrate through this valley. Flocks of Canadian geese come here to nest and lay their eggs. They flew over us in beautiful formations. Golden eagles and mudhens spend the winter here. Deer, coyotes, rabbits, racoons, possums mingle with cows and horses.

We went fishing at Red Lake, sat in the hot mineral pools at Wallys, went to the huge Candy Dance craft fair in historic Genoa, drove to a birthday party in Fallon, Nevada, ate picnic lunches, and much more. Best of all we have enjoyed having fun talking, laughing, eating, walking. Get-aways nurture love and romance.

Secrets of Love

You probably wouldn't be reading this blog if you weren't looking for some secrets of love. Filmmaker, Tracie Donahue, made a movie about how to stay married. She quit college to marry at 22 and 11 years later a divorce left her facing single parenthood with no way of earning a living.

Donahue, who lives in Rocklin, California, finished college with a degree in communications. In her movie, she interviews couples, counselors, teachers, and even a couple of celebrities, Robin Givens and Jack Gallagher. They all share what they have learned about love.

Basically, she warns that a wedding is not just a fairytale followed by living happily ever after. Everyone needs to learn what it takes to become soul mates. That certainly includes choosing a person who is also willing to learn. No one can do it unilaterally.

Relationship Markers

Markers become unique to you and your soul mate. On our first date we saw a movie with theme music called, "Indian Love Call". When we went to a fair together a few months later we heard the song, "Indian Love Call" come through the speakers. That date became the pivotal point in our new relationship. "Indian Love Call" became our song.

On our honeymoon we had sparkling burgundy with our dinner one night. For many anniversaries we had sparkling burgundy even though it was the only time in the year we drank it. These are markers. They bring warm feelings of remembering. A truly sensory way to celebrate closeness.

Interestingly, markers may change. At some point when we requested the song, "Indian Love Call" musicians would look puzzled and say, "I never heard of it.' I don't think they even make sparkling burgundy any more. We haven't drunk it for many years. We do have new sensory markers. The sound of the ocean, Jennifer Rush's "The Power of Love", steamed clams on valentine's day. All of these things are intimate reminders of our love.