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Friday, December 28, 2007

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No Such Thing as Falling in and out of Love

Every day you hear or read of someone "falling in or out of love." A mystical compelling thing that happens to people. They have no power over it. It just happens. If they "fall out of love" it becomes a rational reason to divorce.

Nonsense. Love is a verb, something you do or do not do. You can decide to love someone to whom you feel a strong attraction or you can decide not to love. The feeling we ascribe to love is the consequence of what we do.

In any long-term relationship there are times when you will not feel loved or loving. Those are the critical times in a long-term relationship. If at that time you decide to love, the feelings we associate with love, will come back stronger and at a deeper level.

Over a long period of time deciding to love when you don't feel loving will lead to the ultimate act of love, complete acceptance of the other person despite characteristics that may be irritating. A person can never receive or give a greater gift!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Surviving the Little Things

A great day. I bought a new blue outfit and I felt like it looked good. I could hardly wait to have my husband see me in my new clothes. Getting noticed by your special person can become a challenge after more than 50 years together.

I finished dressing, took a last look in the mirror and felt excited as I walked down the stairs to where he stood waiting. He barely glanced at me and turned to go.

I stopped and said, "You didn't notice." He frowned. "What?" "Don't you like it?" He looked at me. "Oh. It's nice."

To say I felt let-down is an understatement. When we arrived at our destination three or four people told me how nice I looked. Sometimes you have to take affirmation wherever you can get it. You may even have to be willing to give it to yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff. He doesn't always have other things on his mind.