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Monday, May 27, 2013

Bob and Suzanne Cummings--44 Years

Bob and I met on my 21st birthday on Wednesday, May 21, 1969, in Albuquerque, NM. I've recently discovered this is my "Golden Birthday". I had never heard of that before. Your golden birthday occurs when your age matches the date of your birth. It has always been a special day for us but now it is even more special to me.

After my performance in the University of NM spring choir concert, a friend and I decided to go to the Pizza Hut for a late night snack. The only other people at the restaurant were a group of mostly young and fit men. After I sat down, I noticed a particularly handsome guy sitting directly opposite me at their table. We shared a few glances at each other and later shared how we were immediately attracted to one another. I shared with my friend how I felt, but I was in a quandary about how to get acquainted with him. Bob would tell you that I winked at him, but it absolutely is not true! My friend had a great idea. She went out to the car and brought in the small cake she had baked for me. Someone at the men's table asked how old I was. When I said, "21", he asked why I was drinking coke instead of beer. I didn't drink alcoholic beverages and besides, my friend was only 20.

The guys got up to leave and I was afraid I would never see the handsome stranger again. To my delight, he walked over to our table and asked if it was really my birthday. When I said, "yes", he offered me two free tickets to a baseball game. I thought he was asking me for a date, but I learned his name was Bob and he played on the Albuquerque Dodgers baseball team. He intended to leave two passes at the gate.

Later Bob called. I told him I would go to the game on Saturday night. By Saturday morning he had left two passes at the gate. He reminded me that the other pass was for my friend. I wondered if he was interested in my friend and not me, but he must have realized how it sounded and explained that his friend wanted to meet my friend.

The rest is history. We were engaged two months later and we married the day after Christmas that same year. Yesterday we celebrated 44 years of our first meeting and on December 26th we will celebrate 44 years of marriage. By the way, May 21st is a much easier day to celebrate than December 26th!

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Traits of People Who Become Soul Mates

  1. Soul mates choose to understand the significance of life and share in God's being.
     2.  Soul mates accept whatever happens as an opportunity to learn and grow.

     3.  Soul mates begin relationship with commitment and trust.
     4.  Soul mates risk in relationships. They have compassion without the need to rescue.

     5.  Soul mates can identify and share with their mates what they have programed as needs and let
          go of those that are not fitting.

     6.  Soul mates look for strengths in people--themselves, their mates, children, co-workers.  They  
          focus on what they can enjoy in others.

     7. Soul mates understand that they are responsible for their own happiness. No one can make
         another person happy.

     8. Soul mates take responsibility for their own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. No blame.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Foreplay Begins in the Morning and Lasts All Day

Wanting to make love begins when mates get up in the morning with a loving greeting to each other. They notice when their partner looks nice and say so. They treat each other with respect. When they are together there is physical contact: kisses, hugs, a pat on the back, holding hands, touch. They do nice things for each other: serve a cup of coffee, put gas in the car, put the car away. They share the workload. They make time to talk. They prioritize time with each other They go on getaways. They have family time and share parenting tasks. They support each other to their children, family, and friends. They know they have each other's back.

If you have this kind of foreplay, the chance of wanting to make love increases dramatically. Sex becomes the icing on the cake.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

How Important Is Sex in Marriage?

Are You In a Sex Starved Marriage?

You have probably heard the joke about the guy whose wife wanted sex only once a year on their wedding anniversary. He decided to go to a sex education class. On the second day of the class, the teacher took a survey. "How many of you have sex every day? A few hands went up. How many twice a week? More hands were raised. Once a month? The teacher noticed one man who hadn't raised his hand. The teacher said, "Once a year?" The man excitedly waved his hand in the air. The teacher said, "You are happy about that?" The guy said, "Oh yeah! Tonight's the night!"

Sexual Intimacy Helps Keep Marriages Strong

Michele Weiner Davis hit a nerve when she wrote a book titled, "The Sex Starved Marriage." This book has been helpful to couples who didn't understand the role of sexual intimacy in keeping marriages strong. Dr. Davis writes, "It is estimated that one out of every three couples struggles with problems associated with low sexual desire. One study found that 20 per cent of married couples have sex fewer than ten times a year." In the next paragraph Dr Davis adds, "If you've been thinking that low sexual desire is 'only a woman's thing', think again. Many sex experts believe that low sexual desire in men is America's best kept secret."

Sexual Intimacy Helps Couples Stay Connected

Enjoying sex with your mate makes it easier to stay connected on every level. Disconnecting happens gradually. We live busy demanding lives. Life passes quickly. Take time to enjoy and get to know each other. Relationship is dynamic, always changing. Intimacy has to be nurtured and tended to. Sex is a good barometer to how you are doing. If you are not interested in sex, go for counseling. Read books like, "Sex Starved Marriage". Talk to each other. Focus on yourself. Share what is going on for you. Avoid blame and defense. Together you can learn how to make each other feel loved.