Saturday, February 26, 2011
For a couple of years Dave and I were neighbors who had only said, "Hi", to each other once in awhile. After I invited him to a barbecue, being together became an almost every day thing. After a month of friendship, we fell in love. He proposed on Feb. 12th. He couldn't wait until Valentines Day. We have been married 12 years.
I suspected Dave had been watching me for some time before the invitation to the barbecue. When I asked him if this was true, he said, "I knew right away that this one is crazy enough to have me." We laugh a lot. I believe laughter is the most important thing to keep romance alive.
Finances have always been a stress, along with the rest of life's challenges. Perseverance and commitment have kept us together. We know that we will always be together and that we can always depend on each other. Both of us have made some bad choices with alcohol, etc., but we remain committed despite our mistakes.
I think we're a pretty cool couple. My first marriage did not last a year. This one will last a lifetime. My parents have been married for more than 50 years and I take marriage seriously. The failure of my first marriage was devastating.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Gene and I went together for three years after meeting at the church college/career group. We married in 1960. We kept our romance alive by talking, trusting, being committed, working on projects together. As we have each individually sought to draw closer to God we grew closer to each other. We never lied to or kept secrets from each other. We spent lots of time with our children and with each other. Family time was important. Since Gene retired we have been together all the time. That is pretty romantic. We have traveled in our RV extensively enjoying the beauty of our country. We have similar interests, such as learning more about the ancestry of our families.
A stress point is not a one time happening. I believe men have difficulty with anger. Responding to anger is also difficult. We are still working on this which causes stress between us. We work during the calm times to discover the cause and seek a better way to respond by exposing our inner most hurts to each other while seeking God's solution. I am learning to defer to Gene when there is a difference of opinion and leave the final results to God. This is a process and ultimately
God is in charge.
What I like best about our relationship is I am married to my best friend and he has never given me a reason to distrust him. I like being married to one who loves God and wants God's best for me and our relationship.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
We met at a church college and career group in 1957. We car-pooled and did almost everything together for 3 years and married in July 1960. We are celebrating our 50th year of marriage this year.
I was always early to meetings. When I opened the door that day in September, I found Georgia sitting on a table in her white fur trimmed coat. I was smitten. Before September ended I was sure the Lord was leading us to a unique oneness with Him here on earth.
Romance came from being together and exploring our common interest in God and His leading. Our lives touched in special ways that would say, "I care about you. You are important to me. I want to do this for and/or with you. This flower is just for you. I wrote this poem for you. I love you.
The best thing about our relationship is the knowledge that our relationship comes through the Lord in all its unique aspects. We know it will last for the time He has appointed for us to use it with Him for His glory and the benefit of others and us. We look forward to our eternal relationship with Christ.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Paul and I met when his sister was getting married and I was her bridesmaid. We met in September and didn't see each other again until January for the wedding. We started dating a week after the wedding. We have been together 15 years and we now have two little boys.
I knew Paul was the one, because after meeting him I didn't want to be away from him. He lived in San Francisco and I lived in Sacramento. What has keep our romance alive is having date nights and talking about the things we are passionate about.
Initially, our moms' moving at different points in our lives created tension and conflict. We have a son with Asperger's so there has been stress about our children. Recently job loss, financial concerns , and family crisis have caused stress.
What keeps our relationship good is that we have a spirit of togetherness and we laugh together often. We face the world together with love and humor. That is what works for us.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Since I began writing about relationships tips, I have received ideas from many people who call themselves relationship experts. How does someone qualify as a relationship expert? Are you an expert on dating, love, and relationship?
I recently received a news release about a seminar called "Meet 'Em, Date 'Em, Keep 'Em". It read, "The afternoon brings together some of Sacramento's top experts on dating, relationships, and love. Attendees will learn everything from finding the right mate to keeping the love and romance alive over the years of a relationship." Wow! What a promise! I wonder how many of these experts have kept love and romance alive for more than 15 or 20 years.
Thousands of people call themselves relationship experts. Some of the most famous have been married and divorced five times. One said that's how she became an expert.
The best experts I have found are people who have worked on their relationships for years and are committed to making them work. As a result they have nurtured the intimacy until it has become a soul mate experience. Hang in there. You, too, may become an authentic relationship expert.