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Monday, August 27, 2012

Are We Compatible?

Resolve Differences

Compatible is defined as able to exist or act together harmoniously. What we do, not who we are! Concentrate on what joins you with another person, not on what separates you. Expect differences. Plan for ways to use your differences to expand your thinking and increase your choices. Use your differences to build strong workable partnerships with another person. Focus on your strengths, minimize your weaknesses.

Advocates/Friends, Not Enemies

Agree to disagree and always be in each others corner. Not blaming, but accepting and working toward understanding. The greatest obstacles to compatibility are Blame and Defend. Believing there is always a right and wrong, and of course, you are right and he/she is wrong. Let go of fears and defenses. Develop a healthy curiosity. What's going on for me now? What can I learn about you?

Some useful ground rules:

     NEVER CONFUSE   (stick with the issue)

Friday, August 17, 2012

Can Love Last?


Not only can love last, couples can learn to become soul mates. The love stories you read on my blog all show how couples have turned their love into soul mate relationships! Love supports the difficult therapeutic process of evolving soul mate relationships. Couples who love each other master the difficult process of learning to hang on to autonomy while being connected to someone who is very different from them.

Soul Mates Adore Each Other

One day I read a clipping about a couple who had been married many years. The clipping quoted them as saying, "When we met, we liked each other. After we had been together 20 years we loved each other. Now after 50 years we adore each other." I couldn't wait to find Everett. At the same time he was looking for me. We both had read the quote and happily agreed that that is the way it is. Now it has been 57 years and we adore each other. LOVE CAN LAST!

I would love to see your comments in response to the question, "Can love last?"

Friday, August 10, 2012

Ron and Mary Lou Jones--Married 66 Years

Mary Lou and Ron met in their junior year at San Diego High School in 1943. After Ron's discharge from the Navy in June 1946 they eloped and married. They were 19 and 20 years old. "Our love story really began after 17 years of marriage," says Ron. "And after a BA for Mary Lou and DDS for me, 3 kids, golf gods, sailboats, sport cars, campers and Airstream trailer, and bigger and bigger homes."

In 1962 Mary Lou became involved in a Bible Study. While sitting at home listening to the Radio Bible Class in 1963 she invited Jesus to be her Lord. Later, Ron became a Christian, too. "That," says Ron, "started a love affair between Mary Lou and me as we grew in our understanding of the love of Christ that had been missing for the first 17 years of our marriage. That was 49 years ago, and Jesus and His love have surrounded and nurtured and protected us through many ups and downs as we have looked to Him increasingly every day for guidance in our lives."

Friday, August 3, 2012

More Wisdom from Virginia Satir

Soul Mates Make Contact

Virginia Satir in her book, "Making Contact" describes what soul mates do.

                   " I believe
                    the greatest gift
                    I can conceive of having
                    to be seen by them,
                    heard by them
                    and touched by them.

                    The greates gift
                    I can give
                    to see, hear, understand
                    and to touch
                    another person. 

                    When this is done
                     I feel
                     contact has been made."