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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Becoming Soul Mates--A New Year's Goal

How to Become Soul Mates

Even the most reclusive person cannot escape relationships. Start with you. Think back to the first, second, and third years of your life. Even if you don't have conscious memories of those years, you can probably reconstruct some of the things you do know into some kind of idea of what your first relationships must have been like.

Did you have both parents? Do you even know who both parents are? Where did you live? Farm? City? Country? What was your dwelling place? House? Apartment? Street? Were you wanted? Planned? Were you welcomed by one person or many people? What kind of caregivers were a part of your infancy? Do you have siblings? What position are you in your family? What happened to you during the first three years of your life has everything to do with this therapeutic process we call relationship.

Responding to care or lack of care not only affects early learning to talk, walk, and react. It also affects the development of perceptions about ourselves and others. Most of us form distorted perceptions of ourselves and others from the beginning. Identifying and sorting out early perceptions becomes a lifetime task in relationship.

Throw away generalizations and ideals, expectations, and comparisons. See your self as an individual, different from everyone else. In acceptance of that difference, we give the gift of intimacy. That is the foundation for learning to be soul mates.