Friday, February 19, 2010
How can I be who I am and still be connected to you? The big question. People are different in many ways. That means inevitable conflict from time to time. The closer you are to someone, the more certain it is that there will be conflict sometimes. That is true of friendship in any form. Conflict provides opportunity to stretch and grow.
Everett and I are not fighters. Our natural response when there is conflict is to withdraw and not talk. In the 54 years we have been married we have learned to hang in with each other and talk things out. We can even raise our voices sometimes and not be afraid we will offend each other or lose the love we cherish. Respect is essential. No name calling or blame. Conflict is not a matter of right and wrong.
We learn from each other, accomodate each other when we can and sometimes simply agree to disagree. The important thing is that we feel safe with each other. In fact, there is no one with whom I would rather be.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
What is it about red roses, chocolate, and valentines that makes love seem so easy and everything seem so right? Valentine's Day on a Sunday is an added bonus unless you are a child.
We took full advantage of this day to celebrate love. A bluebery pancake for breakfast, attending church, then a small lunch in a restaurant overlooking the river, watching yesterday's Olympics all afternoon, and finally clams,garlic bread and champaigne for dinner.
How did you celebrate love on this Valentine's Day?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Today I bought a Valentine table cloth. I have had a hard time finding pretty luncheon table cloths, so I was excited when I actually found a red one with hearts on it. Saturday we will get some flowers and clams. We already have the champaigne. We are both looking forward to Sunday. We will go to church together in the morning. I always look forward to a day I can spend with my soul mate. How about you? What are you looking forward to?
Saturday, February 6, 2010
If you are becoming soul mates, Valentine's Day is one of your favorite days of the year. It gives you a chance to express your love creatively. You can select a funny card, a sexy card or a mushy card. Sometimes we give each other one of each. We have come a long way from the time Everett said, "Get in the car. I want to show you something." He drove to a nearby store where cards were sold and led me to the card counter. "Here" he said picking a card he had obviously found before. "If I bought cards, this is the one I would give you. Now we won't have to buy it." He believed cards were a rip-off which took advantage of people's feelings. I loved cards! Now I even get a card from him on Easter. The first time he did that he had a satisfied look on his face as he said, "and you didn't even get me one."
Cards are certainly a big part of Valentine's fun. Even Ev has fun with them now! It's all a part of becoming soul mates.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
TEN MORE DAYS!
So what will you do on that Sunday to make your loved person feel special? If you live in the north area of Sacamento "Becoming Soul Mates" is available at Flower Power at the corner of Madison and San Juan. Others can order it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Just 12 more days until Valentine's Day, the day of lovers. Hopefully, for you every day is the day for love. Are you reading my book, "Becoming Soul Mates"? If you are, let me know what has helped you the most. I am finding that more and more experts are making the same point. Initially in relationship you believe your love cannot get stronger. People in happy long term relationships all say the same thing, love grows as you learn to accept your partner and love him/her just as they are. After being married for 54 years, I can tell you Everett and I are truly soul mates. Difficult times can be opportunities for growth and learning which lead to stronger relationship or you can use them to blame your partner and disconnect in a way that can lead to destruction of love. Becoming soul mates doesn't happen overnight. It takes years of being loved and accepted. People don't just fall in and out of love.
I hope you enjoy the count-down to Valentine's Day. We will.