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Friday, February 19, 2010

Conflict is Part of A Good Relationship


How can I be who I am and still be connected to you? The big question. People are different in many ways. That means inevitable conflict from time to time. The closer you are to someone, the more certain it is that there will be conflict sometimes. That is true of friendship in any form. Conflict provides opportunity to stretch and grow.

Everett and I are not fighters. Our natural response when there is conflict is to withdraw and not talk. In the 54 years we have been married we have learned to hang in with each other and talk things out. We can even raise our voices sometimes and not be afraid we will offend each other or lose the love we cherish. Respect is essential. No name calling or blame. Conflict is not a matter of right and wrong.

We learn from each other, accomodate each other when we can and sometimes simply agree to disagree. The important thing is that we feel safe with each other. In fact, there is no one with whom I would rather be.

1 comment:

  1. These are all really good points!

    As a relationship expert (www.ChoiceRelationships.com), I would like to add that couples need to know that conflicts are bound to happen. But here's the good news: there are skills they can learn so that they can handle them better. When they do, their partnerships fare much better. I offer a free teleseminar, "The 7 Tools to Manage Conflict Communication in Your Relationship." To hear it, go to: http://choicerelationships.com/teleseminar_resources.

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