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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Live Every Day for Each Other

None of us know how long we will have each other. Today I attended the memorial service of our 54 year old neighbor. Just a couple of years ago, he was a good-looking strong guy who lived life to the full. Then he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He fought hard to conquer his cancer but it got him in the end. He leaves a grieving family.

Jai Pausch, wife of best-selling author and lecturer, Randy Pausch,is coping with the loss of this amazing man who died of pancreatic cancer. She tells "People Magazine", "I think of what we could have had and wish it would have been." Randy, at 47, left behind three small children.

Look at your partner today and know that you have this minute, this day, to love each other. Don't let less important things keep you from showing that love.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Back from Vacation

Vacations can test the quality of relationships. One couple I counseled got along well and had fun on vacations. At home they had conflict and misunderstanding about almost everything. For others vacations end up in disappointment and the couple may not be speaking to each other by the time they get home. How about you? What are your vacations like?

If you have regular get-aways during which you learn more and more about each other, vacations become longer get-aways. You have learned to laugh at the unexpected inconveniences--Your hotel made your reservations for last week and has no vacancies. You go down the wrong road and temporarily don't know where you are. You have to buy a new set of tires because you decided to take an unknown rocky mountain road. These are a few of the "disasters" we have experienced. These experiences make your vacations memorable--a lasting connection to each other.

We are back from a relaxing week at our Lake Tahoe timeshare. Like any week, it had its ups and downs, but it was another great time of memory making together.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Virginia Satir's Five Freedoms

Virginia Satir, a wise therapist and author in the 1900's, talked about the five freedoms for personal power. Soul mates understand the value of these freedoms.

  • "The freedom to see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was, or will be.

  • The freedom to say what one feels and thinks, instead of what one should.

  • The freedom to feel what one feels, instead of what one ought.

  • The freedom to ask for what one wants, instead of always waiting for permission.

  • The freedom to take risks in one's own behalf, instead of choosing to be only "secure" and not "rocking the boat."

This is just another way to describe allowing each other to be who you are--the greatest gift you can give.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Obamas First Date Since Living in White House

If the Obamas can find time for dates, anyone can. Last Saturday night the President and his wife ate dinner at a D.C. French restaurant. Afterwards they took a walk on the South Lawn while holding hands.

Soul mates look for any opportunity to date. It need not cost money. Walk in the park, neighborhood, or along the river. Have a picnic. Sit in a mall and watch shoppers walk by. Everett and I used to make up stories about the people who walked past us. When was your last date?