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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Christmas the Ultimate Celebration


Each year ends with the biggest celebration--Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year. Celebrating with close friends and family gives you a chance to evaluate those relationships. You can set yourself up for big disppointments if your expectations exceed what happens.

Soul mates learn to focus more on what they bring to the celebration rather than what they get or how it turns out. We had a wonderful Christmas partly because we have learned to enjoy everything we can and let go of expectations. A great way to enjoy relationships.
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Monday, December 28, 2009

If You Have Never Cheated--Don't


Recently we saw a powerful 1936 movie titled "Dodsworth". It dramatically showed the pain and folly of infidelity, the subject we talked about a few weeks ago.

The simple soul mate tip is, if you have never cheated--don't! You would trade a few minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of pain. Even if your relationship survives, there will always be a scar and regret. Soul mates trust each other, a requirement for intimacy.
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Friday, December 18, 2009

Relationship Basics


After being exposed to many ways of learning to do relationship at the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, I believe they all end up at the same place. How do I connect with, understand, and accept another person and still be who I am? It is the difficult dance between autonomy and connection.

I must learn to listen without defense, talk with honesty and clarity, be vulnerable when appropriate, minimize weaknesses (my own as well as others) and focus on strengths, and much more. No wonder relationship is difficult. It is a learning process well worth the effort. Life becomes much more enjoyable as we learn to relate well to others.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference 2009


I have just returned from a week of intensive classes at the "Evolution of Psychotherapy" conference in Anaheim, California. The conference was created in 1985 as a celebration of the 100th birthday of psychotherapy. It brings together leading experts in the field of psychotherapy. The conference has been held every 5 years until this year. Seven thousand five hundred people from every state in the Union and 50 foreign countries attended, 400 from Canada, 200 from Australia, and 150 from China. There were 8 keynote speakers, 17 primary faculty, and 22 other faculty.

Classes were held in the Convention Center, and the Marriott and Hilton hotels. Disneyland is across the street, but we had no time to go there. I have lots of new relationship tips to share after listening to the top relationship gurus in the world.
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Monday, December 7, 2009

How About Sarah Todd Palin?


How do Todd and Sarah Palin make their relationship work? They have often had long absences from each other. Sarah told Oprah they made that work.

They have more time together since Todd quit his job on the North Slope in September. Sarah told "People Magazine", we are doing a lot of housework and yard work together. Those are our date nights. Just these frugal, practical things we've always done."

Do you think housework and yard work count as date nights?
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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Thanksgiving Get-Away to Sea Ranch


We love the California north coast, the most romantic place we have found. We have just returned from six glorious days of connection and renewal. Enroute to the coast we found a three year old gourmet French restaurant, called "French Garden", in the little town of Sebastopol. Eating outstanding food in warm sunshine became an unexpected senendipity experience. It set the tone for the joyous time we had during the next six days. How was your Thanksgiving?
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