Saturday, July 11, 2009
Learning to be soul mates can only happen when individual differences are appreciated and mistakes are expected and communication is open. It cannot happen when people feel like they are walking on eggs around each other. It cannot happen if you avoid conflict by not talking about things that might upset the other person.
You may not say what you feel because of your partner's defensive reaction. Defensive reactions can be withdrawal and refusal to talk or it can be explosive accusations of blame for feeling that way. One man I know couldn't ask his wife about finances without his wife bursting into tears and accusing him of not trusting her. The results were disastrous and they ended up divorced and deeply in debt.