Sunday, September 6, 2009
If you want to "fall in love" bring your partner to Hawaii. We have just returned from the Kona Coast relaxed and more "in love" than ever. We atttended a group meeting where we were identified as the longest married couple. The speaker asked Everett to tell the newlyweds in the group how to have a long marriage. He said, "Accept criticism and don't be angry." I was horrified. I tell couples,
"criticism is never useful and feelings are important." Apparently, what I thought I was doing and how I was doing were far apart.
Later, Everett told me, "I hate being asked questions like that. It is too hard to think on my feet. What I meant to say was, don't be defensive and learn to manage anger." Either way I think every couple struggles with learning not to blame and not to be defensive. When you have learned those two things, you will be able to talk about anything with each other. It is a lot easier to do that in Hawaii!