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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Can You Make Marriage Work?

Two Very Different People

You are two very different people who have decided to run the rest of your lives as a partnership. Wow! You have to decide:

  • whether to have a pet
  • who does what
  • where to live
  • whether to have children and how many
  • what kind and color of car to buy
  • whether and where to go to church
  • how to spend free time
  • what music to listen to
  • what t.v. and movies to see
  • when to go to bed and when to get up
  • where to go on vacation
  • who does what
. . . and much much more.  All of this and still each be who you are!

The dance is between connection and autonomy, love and fear. The hardest part is to listen without defending and to talk without blame. Talk about expectations before you marry. No surprises! Talk about roles. Get to know each other and don't ignore red flags. There is much more to deciding about marriage than "falling in love". Hopefully, you are making a lifetime decision so make it with your head and not just your heart.

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