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Monday, May 12, 2014

Ten Reasons Nancy's Birthday Should Be a National Holiday



Birthday Tribute from Ted to His Wife

10.  She has the gift of hospitality. Our house is home to others including animals.
       She makes a lot of soup.

 9.   She rescued green, black, brown, and grey as New York fashion colors.
       Who else can make people blush red with grey skirt?

 8.   She's the only grey-skirted woman alive whose  personal spokesman is a pathetic wobbly
       deaf old dog. Every day Nancy translates Rose's elusive thoughts.

 7.   For 25 years she has demonstrated that the best teachers in the world truly love every
       single kindergartner on the 32-student roster. She comes home with a burden for
       every soul.

 6.   She gives equal status to guinea pigs, chickens, dogs, and squirrels. She objected to
       my shooting the two squirrels temporarily squatting rent-free in our attic.

 5.   Because of her concern for saving the earth, she fills a small bowl with water to wash 
       her face in the morning. You'd think I was draining Niagra Falls by rinsing my razor
       under the faucet. Now I only shave twice a week.

 4.   She's low maintenance. I have to beg her to buy clothes at Target instead of Eco-Thrift,
       a second-hand store. Those designer-brand fashions she finds only cost $3. I'm all for
       that.

 3.   She has many ideas for things to make, fix, or buy and only one husband. Gotta keep
       her working or she will overwhelm the male population of Folsom with honey-do lists.

 2.   She once owned a boat, found shore. She was nicer than Columbus, but 
       Columbus was probably a better sailor.
      
                and the number one reason she should have her own holiday..........

 1.   She has flirted with miracles on her wait to sainthood: Miracle Whip, Miracle Grow,
       Miracle hair products and she has miraculously put up with me for 35 years.

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