An Important Notice to My Readers

It was impossible to keep up with my blogs and get my book, "Wondering Around God" written within a reasonable time. I am nearing the finish of the book. There will still be the editing, getting the book published, and having it ready for readers.

I am looking forward to get back to my blogs. There are more than 300 of them. Check the listing. You can go back to any of them at any time. Sorry, I have had to be away.

I am eager to see how readers will respond to this story oh how faith began at birth and took many twists and turns before at the age of 85 it is still in process and will be until the day I actually see God face to face. Even that comment can cause pop up questions. Is "face to face" how it will be? You can see I am still wondering around God!

            AN EXCITING JOURNEY!

Catalina Island Getaway

The Pavilion Hote

Many Californians, like me, have said, "Some day I want to go to Catalina Island." That some day came for Everett and me this week. We spent three relaxing days and nights at a lush green garden hotel in Avalon on a Sports Leisure tour.

The two story Pavilion Hotel in the heart of Avalon on the bay has rooms scattered through a lush green garden providing privacy and the illusion of having your own private patio. A fire-pit, bay front wine bar, complementary wine and cheese parties and continental breakfast make this a truly tranquil place to let go of worry and cares.

Chewing gum magnate, William Wrigley bought the island in 1919. He brought his baseball team, the Chicago Cubs to the island for spring training. The film industry discovered the island in the 1930's. A herd of bison roam the hills. Fourteen of them were brought to Catalina in 1924 by a film crew which left them to fend for themselves after the film ended. The Wrigleys'  gave more than 42000 acres of the island to the Catalina Conservancy.

On Monday we boarded an old bus which took us on the Inland Island Motor Tour. It was a wild ride on a mostly one-way road to the Conservancy airport at the summit. We had a wonderfully memorable driver named Freddie. He had lived on the island since he was a young boy. He loved it and his enthusiasm was contagious. We saw a bison up close, something Frankie said seldom happens.

The third day we toured the fabulous Casino. The twelve story circular building, built in 1929 has a huge theater and a 20,000 square-foot ballroom. Casino is an Italian word for "gathering place.' No gambling in this casino.

 Later that day we took a ride in an observation submarine where we saw fish large and small in their habitat. On the fourth day we boarded the ferry late in the morning headed home. We got home about 10 o'clock, tired but with many treasured new memories.

Talented Chefs-Part 2

In my last blog I told you about talented chefs we found in unexpected places. It turns out Kalie Glass, the chef at Adobe Resort grew up in Yachats. His father, Jerry Glass was the chef at Adobe Resort for twenty years. He retired in 2009. When Kalie was sixteen, he began working for his father, He started in prep work, then moved on to line cook. Next, he became sous chef for his father. After ten years he became chef. He married a year ago. He and his wife have their first child.

Resort manager, Anthony Muirhead knows how lucky they are to have such a talented young chef. Anthony's background is similar to Kalie's. His father got him into the resort business. He bounced around for ten or eleven years before ending up as general manager at the Adobe Resort. He, too, grew up in Yachats. Two young men who help make Yachats Adobe Resort my favorite getaway.

Talented Chefs in Unexpected Places

Elva and Everett at Lord Bennetts

While traveling, café food can get tiresome. We often find the same unattractive choices: garden salad with wilted lettuce with a few cherry tomatoes on top, soup of the day which can be very salty; chicken or turkey sandwiches or maybe when we are daring, hamburgers.

On our Oregon trip our first big surprise came in Bandon, a little coastal town. We ate dinner at Lord Bennetts, next to the Sunset Motel on Beach Loop Drive. Service was excellent and the food was gourmet. We chose nut encrusted halibut which was beautifully presented and taste-perfect. Everett had green salad with crisp field fresh lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, and even fresh raisins served with house made dressing. The house Chardonnay came from 14 Hands Winery, Columbia Valley, Washington. The chef, Rich Iverson and the server, a young man named Charlie O'Neill did a great job.

Three years ago we stayed at the Adobe Resorts at Yatchats. We liked it so much, we vowed we would return some day when we could stay longer than one night. I didn't remember much about the food and food service. This time we found the restaurant outstanding and affordable. Most of the servers are young people from the area well trained, attentive, and easy to talk to.

We arrived on a Sunday just in time for Sunday brunch. I have been to many Sunday brunches. For a small restaurant this was one of the best. Everything was attractively presented and beautifully prepared. An example: three kinds of deviled eggs on a three tiered serving dish. The scrambled eggs, steaming hot and smoothly blended with cheese made me want to go back for more. The meat carver carved the perfectly cooked ham and prime rib into slices just the right size. It was an impeccable brunch and immediately got my attention.

I decided to find out more about the chef before we left. In my next blog I will tell you what I found out.

Following

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Update Your Perception about Relationship

Partners in Change

What is your perception about relationship? What are your expectations? These are important questions. When you and your partner understand relationship provides the opportunity to learn, grow and mature, you will see relationship in a new way. You will no longer believe that if your partner would change, you could have the relationship you have always dreamed of having. You will be looking for ways YOU can change and grow. You will look for a partner who is willing to learn and grow as well.

Relationship is difficult for everyone! Everyone has disagreements, misunderstandings, periods of feeling unloved. We are all unique and different from each other. A realistic approach to relationship
includes looking for a partner interested in learning, growing and changing with you as you both mature. You will share what you are learning. You will encourage each other and focus on each other's strengths. You will share growth, appreciation and wonder. That is what makes love grow.

YOU WILL BE PARTNERS IN CHANGE instead of TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER!

Hitting the Jackpot on the Oregon Coast

The ocean 100 feet outside our bedroom window

If you love the ocean like we do, you can find your perfect getaway place along the Oregon coast. We rediscovered ours this week. Three years ago we drove down the Oregon coast returning from visiting friends who live at Lake Bay, Washington near Gig Harbor. We stayed at Seaside the first night, Yachats the second night and Brookings the third night, all without reservations. I wrote blogs about all three which you can look up by checking "older blogs" at the end of the most recent blogs.

All of those places were wonderful , but our stay at Yachats made me vow to come back when we could stay longer. We selected a week at the end of July, rearranged obligations and appointments and planned our trip. We decided to make reservations, because we were traveling on a weekend. That turned out to be a good decision, because a big country music festival was scheduled on the coast south of Bandon that weekend. Ten thousand people expected to attend.

We decided to spend two nights at Yachats. We had a room on the third floor just one hundred feet from the ocean. The ocean's rthymic beating against the waves growing louder at high tide and getting softer and dimmer at low tide soothed us into deep healing sleep. That first night the Adobe Resort miraculously became our favorite getaway place surpassing our decades long favorite, the Sea Ranch. A big bonus is an affordable restaurant not more than fifty feet from the water with windows all around and gourmet food. After the first night we made arrangements to add another night to our stay. We had to change rooms the third night, but the new room was just as lovely as the first one had been.

A beautiful mile long trail beside the ocean ends at a gorgeous large white sand beach. Several vacation apartments and motels access the trail, The Fireside Motel, Overleaf Lodge and Spa, as well as the Adobe Resort. I can't guarantee good weather, but we have had beautiful weather this year and when we were on the Oregon coast three years ago. We feel like we have hit the jackpot. I wish you the same kind of luck.

Sixty-one Years!

Was This the Best One Yet at Sea Ranch?

We have celebrated many anniversaries at Sea Ranch and every time they have seemed like the best one yet. The sixty-first anniversary visit was no different. We both love the ocean. We can no longer walk the two plus miles to our favorite sit-down log, but we walked to our favorite bay . Just off the trail, we walked to our secret place. It opens to a beautiful hidden view of the ocean framed by heavy green growth. We couldn't climb down to the edge like we used to do, because neither of us trust our sense of balance. We sat on the hard ground at the approach between the trees and enjoyed the sound and narrowed view of the ocean.

Five or six years ago our favorite room at Sea Ranch became unaffordable. Our 56th anniversary was the last anniversary we celebrated there. This year we decided to see if our room was available on lower cost week days. It was. We booked it for two full days and three nights. From start to finish it was everything we fantasized and hoped for.  When we reached the coast south of Bodega Bay a sparkling blue ocean bathed in brilliant sunshine greeted us. Driving curvy Highway One up the cliffs past the little town of Jenner felt wonderfully familiar. We found a bottle of Champaign waiting for us in room ten. The room had been upgraded. Still no television, clocks or telephone, but elegant and uniquely rustic. Instead of telling each other our stories as the sun set each night, we reminisced and talked about stories we now share. Stories about the red fox we had seen one night and the day we saw a rabbit come running out of the woods followed by a coyote. He jumped into the river and swam to the other side evading the coyote. Not long after that a news story reported President Carter had seen a rabbit swimming. When the reporters joked about it, we knew the president was telling the truth.

We have seen a seal give birth, an osprey catch a fish, a big buck lead his harem of seven does  proudly across the field in front of us. We have more stories together now than we had alone before we met. We both do remember and that is another blessing after sixty-one years! Three days of sunshine and balmy weather while people at home were enduring one hundred plus temperatures. If this anniversary was not the best one yet, it certainly came close!

Return to Wally's Hot Springs

     We left the Sacramento area when the weather man was predicting the first hot week of late spring. We have a timeshare at Wally's Hot Springs near Genoa, Nevada. We never tire of going to this wonderfully rural place where we can watch deer, geese, cows, and other animals birth and grow their young. This week the mild weather dominated conversations.

     Time has passed and our ageing has accelerated. In the past we enjoyed fishing at nearby lakes and streams, hiking on numerous mountain  trails and playing tennis. Now sitting in the hot mineral water pools every morning is high on our to do list. We bring books to read and writing projects. The
Flamingo Casino in nearby Carson City has wonderful champagne brunches on Saturdays and Sundays. People who can get in and out of a casino without wasting money on tight machines can enjoy the brunch.

     A walking path from Wally's leads to Genoa, the first stage coach stop in Nevada. A beautiful little park, located in the center of town features concerts in the summer. The last weekend in September every year, rows of craft vendors line every street, the park, and even fields. This craft fair called, "The Candy Dance Festival" grew from a small money raising project by townspeople to an event that brings thousands of people to Genoa in September. Ladies of the community spend weeks making fudge and divinity to sell. There is still a dance held on Saturday night.

    The tiny community church is one of the delightful places we discovered from local people sharing a hot tub with us one Sunday. The service starts at 10 o'clock Sunday mornings, so we had time to get
ready and go after leaving the spa. We have gone back every Sunday we have visited the area. Each time loving members and visitors fill the pews of the church. Getaways like this become a home away from home and do wonders for relationships.

      

Surprised by Joy

Joy at a daughter's wedding

Joy comes in many forms: feeling free of addiction after months of failed attempts to break the chains, welcoming a dearly loved family member back after a long absence, skin touching skin with a loving spouse, having a purpose, seeing a new grandchild for the first time. In marriage, joy comes off and on, deepening with passing years as each partner learns to let go of fear and a need to change the other.

Greet each day in wonder. Expectations blind us from seeing the beauty of each other. What can I learn today about the amazing complexity of who I am and who my lover is? This is a lifetime challenge.

I have recently finished reading C.S. Lewis's book Surprised by Joy for the second time. I read it the first time many years ago. Interestingly, what I got out of it this time was different. Joy does not come from seeking it. It comes as a surprise when we are able to finally discover the dimension of the spiritual part of ourselves. Letting go of expectations and opening up to beautiful differences between my self and those around me. Soul mates cannot find joy if they lose their own identity. It comes when we recognize and affirm the beauty in each other without comparison, expectations, and fear.


For more: get Elva's book: "Becoming Soul Mates". Order it from Amazon or at http://family1stbooks.com

Who Did You Choose to Love?

Do you really know that person who sits across the dinner table day after day? Expectations make us blind to the gift of the person with whom we have chosen to spend our lives. There is no way life is supposed to be. There is only life.

As years go by, I realize some of my husband's wonderful strengths become lost because I am so focused on what he should do or be. I am reinforcing his own focus on his weaknesses. We all have weaknesses and strengths. If we focus on the strengths we have twice as many as we have alone. Often each of us has the strengths that are our partner's weaknesses. Wow!  If we focus on each other's strengths we have twice as many as we had alone.

Focus on the gift your partner is rather than the one you thought you wanted. Recognize the unimaginable challenge and opportunity to become more and more mature in faith, in love, and in joy. Embrace that opportunity to grow by accepting and learning from each other. Understand that relationship is the therapeutic process that can lead to satisfying maturity.


For more help order "BECOMING SOUL MATES" by Elva Anson at Amazon or http://www.family1stbooks.com .

A Night at the Ritz

Our Christmas getaway now seems much like dreams of a childhood Santa Claus. How did we become overnight guests at the splendid Ritz Carlton Hotel on the shores of a blustery Pacific Ocean at the tiny town of Half Moon Bay? It started with Scott Angeletti, a creative tour director for Sports Leisure Travel. He had hosted trips to the Ritz Hotel at Lake Tahoe as well as tours along the coast to Monterey and Carmel. He wondered if it would be possible to create a two night-three day trip to the Bay Area and negotiate an affordable stay at the Ritz on one of those nights. He succeeded.

We signed up for the trip in May so we had half a year to look forward to it. It far exceeded our expectations. On Saturday Scott served box lunches on the bus. Our first stop was at Filoli Gardens mansion. For nine days in December nearly two thousand volunteers turn the ground floor of the mansion into an upscale Christmas store to raise money to keep the gardens open to the public.

After two hours of shopping we headed to the San Jose Fairmont Hotel located next to the Ceasar Chavez Park which had been turned into a delightful Christmas park with a couple of hundred decorated Christmas trees, rides for the children, scenes of elves and Santa Claus preparing for Christmas, an outdoor ice skating rink, carnival rides, food stations and vendors. Many families enjoyed the excitement and splendor. Lost in this two block wonderland was one nativity scene. I wondered how many of those children know why we celebrate Christmas.

Two blocks north of the Fairmont Hotel the grand Cathedral Basilica of St. Joseph hosted the debut Gaude choral group concert at 8 o'clock that night. Four men and four women made up the group. They sang old German songs written as far back as the fifteenth century. The excellent acoustics in the magnificent cathedral accented the perfect harmony of the singers. A great experience!

The following day we ate an amazing brunch at the Hayes Mansion, another place with a fascinating Bay area family story. Waiting for us that evening on the grand plaza by the sea was the lighting of the Christmas tree. Seats were set up in rows and the large fire pits were lit early. A local high school boys choir entertained with Christmas songs, no traditional carols. The MC announced the winners
of the gingerbread houses lining the hotel halls. Santa Claus rode down the hill by the ocean in a golf cart. With a couple of children from the audience he lit the Christmas tree. Christmas messages and pictures were projected onto the large hotel wall.

We arrived home Monday evening full of Christmas, but looking for a missing "Merry Christmas" after being saturated with "Happy Holidays" for three days. I wish my readers a Merry Christmas and of course Happy Holidays as well.

Back to the Sea

As we headed to the Northern California coast after our longest absence, I could feel any tension or anxious thoughts disappear into the misty cloudy fog that had our windshield wipers active after a long summer rest. "So which route shall we take?" I asked my husband. "You're driving. You decide."

 I decided to drive west through the middle of the old town of Petaluma divided by Hiwy 101. It was a cloudy moody day. The usually lush green farmland was so dry the cattle and sheep no longer looked like the pampered animals in television ads.

We met dozens of campers and cars pulling trailers leaving the coast. Not much traffic going west. A fork in the road pointing south to picturesque Pt. Reyes always tempts me to go that way. Sometimes I do, but on this day I hung tight to the steering wheel and turned north on Hiwy l through Tamales, best known as the place to turn toward popular Dillon Beach.

Ten miles north on Hiwy l we came to Bodega Bay where we had lunch at the Tides which has windows facing the Bay. A curtain of fog rose from the water blocking the view. The Tides is expensive so we had breakfast for the second time.

As we drove the familiar curves of this famous ocean highway I couldn't resist rolling down my window to let in the sounds, the smell, and the feel of the wonderful Pacific Ocean. On through Jenner, over the cliffs toward Ft. Ross, Salt Point, past Sea Ranch to Gualala and the Sea Cliff  Motel where we would spend two wonderful nights bathed in the wonder of this magical place.

California got its first really soaking rain after a long dry spell. The next morning the fog was gone. The sun turned the sky into a beautiful blue with white fluffy clouds. The ocean matched it with its own blue with white capped waves. We took a long walk beside this noisy beauty intoxicated by the stimulation of all of our senses. I love the ocean. For me it is the perfect getaway every time..

Lake Tahoe Timeshare GetAway

Little church in Genoa
 

Sunshine in October warmed our bodies and spirits as we relaxed at Tahoe Ridge last week. Travelers winding their way up Kingsbury Grade believe the Tower building at the Ridge is a fairy castle guarding the lush green Carson Valley seven thousand feet below. Relaxing in our seventh floor apartment makes it easy to let go of the pressure of appointments, deadlines, meetings, and assorted obligations of every day life.

We brought books and writing material. Everett read Matthew and Mark in the New Testament, something he had been wanting to do again. I read my mother's diaries from 1943 and 1944. I realized I had some revising to do on the memoir I am writing.

Glorious sunrises and sunsets entertained us. We had spectacular views from our bedroom, living room, and balcony. At night, lights turn the valley into a fairy land impossible to capture with our little camera. Car headlights turn into eyes of wild animals creeping up the seven mile grade. They disappear around the curves.

The highlight of the week came when our daughter, son-in-law, and two granddaughters joined us for the weekend. On Sunday morning we all went to a tiny church in Genoa at the base of the mountain range. We got the last row of empty seats. The pastor invited Emily and Kendra to ring the bell. The girls were enchanted. "It's just like the little house on the prairie," they said. We felt the warmth and love of the strangers who amazingly are our brothers and sisters.

 

Get-aways are good for relationship!

Thank You, Elisabeth Stitt

Thank you to Elisabeth Stitt for her series of posts on communication. If you enjoyed them, you might like to check out her other parenting blogs here:
 http://www.elisabethstitt.com/past-newsletters-and-other-musings/."

MOVE the CONVERSATION ALONG POSITIVELY

by

 

Guest blogger

 

Elizabeth Stitt

 

 Joyful Parenting Coaching

 www.elisabethstitt.com

 

 

TIP 3: Using "yes, and" to Move the Conversation Along Positively

 

 

In the world of Improvisational Acting, one of the rules is to keep the action moving forward, so not blocking a person's story is key to success. Improv actors do this by saying in response to whatever their partner says. "Yes, (that's true! you're right!) and ....."

 

 

Listen to how a couple might use this technique to build a warm connection between them:

 

Bob: I want to go to Hawaii so we can hang out under an umbrella.

Barbara: Yes, and we can drink pina coladas with little umbrellas in them. Those are so festive!

Bob: Yes, and I read a review of a restaurant right by the water that has festive colored lights.

Barbara: Yes, and I could try the Mahi Mahi fish and we could walk on the beach after dinner.

Bob: That sounds nice. I love the sound of the waves.

 

Suppose that Barbara doesn't really want to go to Hawaii. She knows how expensive it is and is worried that such a trip will badly eat into their savings. Going to Hawaii just to make Bob happy does not serve the family in the long run. Barbara is likely to get tense and tight lipped about every expense on the trip thereby ruining Bob's pleasure. The family might need that money later. This is where the variation of "yes and" comes unto play.

 

By using "Yes and" Barbara has allowed herself to imagine what she might enjoy about Hawaii and has built up a lot of warm feeling between her and Bob. Now it is time to introduce her concerns. Let's see how this goes:

 

Barbara: I love the waves, too, and AT THE SAME TIME I am worried that Hawaii will be too expensive.

Bob: Yes, that's true, and AT THE SAME TIME, we saved by not going away at Christmas.

Babara: I'm glad we put some money away, and AT THE SAME TIME I would like to avoid the cost of a long plane flight.

Bob: Yeah, I checked prices and it will be peak season, and AT THE SAME TIME I get so much benefit from being near the water. It is worth it to me.

 

Bob and Barbara are getting close to moving into the brainstorming phase to find a win-win solution. Notice that now when Barbara brings up the issue of cost, Bob slips in that he has considered cost.  He already checked the price of tickets, so it is not that he is insensitive to their budget. His last statement also reveals how it is being near the water that provides so much benefit to him. This would be a great place for them to begin to generate alternate ideas that meet Bob's need to relax near the water and Barbara's need to not go over budget. Tahoe? Santa Cruz? Lake Shasta? It is easy to imagine that this warm, lively conversation will continue to move along toward a solution that works for them both. They will end up with a good plan, but more importantly, the process of coming up with that plan will leave them feeling more loving and connected. Talk about WIN! WIN!

 

 



EXPRSSING EMOTIONS with I STATEMENTS

by

 

Guest blogger Elisabeth Stitt

 

Joyful Parenting Coaching

 

www.elisabethstitt.com

 

 

Expressing Emotions with I-Statements--Tip 2

 

Often times we make negative assumptions about what our partner is thinking or feeling without doing a reality check. Here's an example: Barbara is washing the dishes while Bob sits on the couch reading. As she furiously scrubs, she mght be seething thinking, "It's not fair that I'm working  and he's just sitting there relaxing." She might go on to tell herself, "he's okay letting me wash the dishes because I'm home all day and he thinks I don't do anthing all day." In reality, Bob might not be aware of her at all. He might just be enjoying his good book. Or he might have his own internal dialogue going. He might be thinking, "I am so stressed from work. I just need 30 minutes to veg out. I wish she'd stop doing the dishes and relax for a bit!" Fear of an argument can make it hard to reasonably ask our partner's motivations.

 

An I-Statement is a technique for introducing a difficult topic in a gentle way. Here is an I-Statement Barbara migt have used to express her negative emotions. Addressing Bob, she would say, "When you sit on the couch reading while I am doing dishes, I feel resentful because I am working and you have leisure time."

 

Let's look at each part. The I-Statement starts by identifying one concrete situation. It goes on to express a feeling (in this case resentment) and the underlying cause of the emotion (Barbara would like to be resting, too. but feels she cannot until the dishes are done). Notice what the I-Statement does not say. It is not used for broad general character defamations (like You're so inconsiderate!) and it does not go over past history (as in "You always let me do dishes and never help).

 

What should Bob's response be? this would be an excellent time for Active Listening.He might say something like "You are frustrated that you are doing dishes alone. It doesn't feel fair." By not defending himself Bob gives Barbara a chance to off load her emotions and tell her whole story. At the end of the Active Listening he might ask Barbara, "What would you like me to do?" On the other hand, let's say Bob gets defensive in response to Barbara's I-Statement and says something like, "You're always criticizung me."

 

Now it's Barbara's turn to do some Active Listening. Yes, this might seem counterintuitive: She has introduced her feelings gently with the intent of introducing a constructive conversation. Why is she the one then to open her heart to Bob's feelings and motivations? Because eventually it works. That is why. Do enough Active Listening and eventually Bob will be ready to hear Babara's concerns and even honor her requests.When enough good will has been built up --and Bob feels seen and heard and respected--then when Barbara says, "It would make a difference to me if you would help with the dishes," Bob is likely to jump up and grab a dishtowel.

 

 

 

 

 

 



ACTIVE LISTENING

by

Guest bolgger Elisabeth Stitt

 

Joyful Parenting Coaching

 

www.elisabethstitt.com

 

 

 

ACTIVE LISTENING--Tip One

 

Active listening, a difficult skill to learn, gives the talker an opportunity to be heard without judgment. The listener gets not just the facts, but also the speaker's feelings.

 

Here's how to do it

 

*     Listen: Don't comment, disagree or evaluate

 

*     Use your body: Eye contact, head nods, brief comments like "yes" or "uh-huh"

 

*     Prompt information: "Tell me more."  "What else?"

 

*     Repeat back: Recap the gist said and guess at emotions

 

 

Practice first with topics that are not controversial. For example, you might ask your partner about a happy childhood memory or a person he admires. Your main purpose is to open up space in the relationship. By listening to your partner's feelings and motivation first you activate your own empathy and secondly you gather a lot of information about what is important to your partner. This provides useful data when you are looking for solutions that will work for both of you. It feels good to be heard. Chances are, you felt listened to early in your relationship.

 

Once you have mastered active listening with noncontroversial topics, try a more touchy topic like "What is a lesson you would really like our kids to learn?" This can be scary. Your parner might say something that really throws you for a loop like "I'd really like the kids to learn to hang glide." Your comfort levels might go into high alert. What?! What kind of a parent lets his kids go up into the sky attached to a giant kite?! If you can take a deep breath and settle down into some active listening, you may learn something really interesting. Perhaps your partner did it as a young man. It was the most alive he has ever felt and he wants the kids to experience that intense feeling of being alive. Perhaps he felt closer to God. Perhaps he was terrified and he wants his kids to face their fears. Listening to your partner share such a meaningful experience would change how you feel about what he wants for the children. You would be in a better position to negotiate something you can both live with.

 

 

For more on relationship skills ; talking and listening  scan back to March12, 2014 (Own Your Feelings)  ;  Nov. 19, 2013 (Good Listeners are Hard to Find) ;   Nov. ll,2013 (Listening is Active Not Passive)

 

 

 



When Parents Disagree about Parenting

Learn How to Co-Parent

 

by

 

Guest blogger Elisabeth Stitt

www.elisabethstitt.com

 

 

Do you love your spouse but find it hard to parent together? You are not alone. Because we care about parenting it is hard to be reasonable when it comes to our kids. When our parenting partner has a different idea about what is appropriate, yes, it is hard. Very few people are good listeners. Learning skills to resolve this problem can lead to better relationship between parents and children.

 

 

Tomorrow I will introduce you to a skill that will make you one of those few. It will help you learn more about your spouse and it will open communication with your children.

 

 

 

(from Elva--these posts were written by Elisabeth for my parenting blog. The skills work in communication between partners as well.)

 



Midlife and Marriage

Have you reached your forties and fifties? You feel smug and safe because you are still married? Be careful.  You are beginning to feel your age. You have become conscious of age categories when running a marathon or participating in a bicycle race. You have to watch what you eat. For the first time you discover you have gained weight. It happened to me when we had just returned from a week long backpack trip.

Your children are grown. Your bucket list may have too few things crossed off. You may be looking at new sports cars or a trip to Australia. Maybe you are thinking of going back to college. When you read about a big road project that will be completed in 2045, you calculate if you should get excited about that. You begin to wonder if you have passed the midpoint of your life. Do you have less time to live than the time you have already lived?

                       YOU ARE FREE

 

 

Be mindful. Renew priorities.

 

This is a good time to take a look at what you want for the rest of your life. Three things are important.

 

Number One.  Prioritize your faith in God.What is your purpose? What do you want to accomplish by the end of your life? What are your gifts and talents? What brings you joy?

 

Number Two.  Prioritize your marriage. How connected are you to your mate? What do you enjoy about each other? Have you shared each other's stories? Is there more to discover? Do you share things on your bucket lists? Make time for each other. Renew the kind of love you showed each other when you were courting. You are alone again with each other. Flirt. Play. Enjoy. Support, Discover.

 

Number Three.  Support your family. Stay in touch. Promote family reunions. Get together when you can. Encourage. Love. Embrace.  

If you do these things, you will become soul mates and adore each other after 60 years of marriage.

 

 

I KNOW