LOVE AT 80--Doug and Wilma Cross

Doug and I were Bank of America employees, but did not meet until after we had retired and attended a retiree luncheon with our spouses.. We found we had many things in common. We had lived, attended school, and knew some of the same people in Idaho. Several years later we had both lost our spouses, but we remained just friends.

On our first date we planned to go to dinner and a movie. I was getting ready to go to Russia with a Missions group. That morning I had to get a Hepatitis C injection before I could go. After eating dinner, we were finishing a glass of wine when I became violently ill and lost consciousness. Doug had to look in my purse to find my insurance card and call my son to tell him where I would be going by ambulance. He stayed with me at the hospital until my son could get there. That really impressed my family. We still have not seen the movie. We dated a few more times, but neither of us was interested in getting married and we drifted apart.

One morning, two years later, Doug called me and asked me to lunch. After a couple more dates, I began to think Doug had "changed" and I kind of liked him. It was probably me who had changed. I began to pray for guidance. I didn't know it then, but Doug was praying also. It didn't take long before God revealed his plan for our lives in a very dramatic way. We were married about 6 weeks later. On January 30th we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. What a wonderful year this has been!

KISSING

Relationship Skills Center, Sacramento, California from http://www.livesimplylove.com/

I have lots to say about kissing, but I'm only going to focus on one aspect today: the 10-second kiss.

Last week my mother-in-law told me about a segment on The Today Show about kissing. You can watch the 4-minute video about the importance of kissing here. A big part of the segment is about the first kiss related to dating, but right about 3:00 minutes into the conversation they talk abut the 10-second kiss (the article on the same page talks about it a bit more).

What they don't mention on the show is oxytocin, sometimes known as the "love hormone" (Google it, I swear this is true!) as the reason WHY kissing for longer than just a peck on the lips is important. When we cuddle, hug, kiss, and engage in other types of intimacy our bodies release this hormone that increases and reinforces attachment.

We first learned about this shortly after we were married. A counselor we knew suggested that engaging in long drawn out hugs (10-20 seconds) at least once a day would strengthen our marriage over time. The reason-oxytocin! Our bodies are actually created to chemically respond to the love and nurturing of a committed relationship. And longer kisses do the same thing.

Fascinating, isn't it?  For more information on relationship skills check out my book, Becoming Soul Mates--How to Create the Life-long Relationship You Always Dreamed Of.

THE ULTIMATE GIFT OF LOVE

                                           Gourmet food to watch the Super Bowl


Saving the life of another person has to be the ultimate gift of love. To be a living donor of half of your liver goes way beyond the love most of us are willing to give. Incredibly we have had five volunteers for our daughter, Janee', over the years. The hospital puts them through a host of tests.

DISAPPOINTMENTS
The first volunteer, our son, Eric, turned out not a match. Over the years three more people did not qualify. Unfortunately, neither her father or I were eligible because of our ages. Under age 55 is a hard and fast rule.

VOLUNTEERING FOR FAMILY vs. VOLUNTEERING FOR STRANGERS
I would have given my liver gladly for any of my children or my husband, but I don't think I would be willing to do it for someone outside of the family unless they were a long time friend.  Kathy, Janee's donor, had known her for a relatively short time when she volunteered. Neither Kathy nor Janee' has ever had surgery so that is a huge unknown and of course produces a lot of anxiety. What love! Kathy and Janee' have become soul mates in a very short time. Kathy's liver should regenerate in two to three months after the surgery and she will have saved Janee's life. Can you think of a greater gift of love?

Are Marriages Ending at Mid-Life?

Newspapers this week featured alarming news about escalating numbers of people in mid-life and older ending their marriages. The question was, WHY?

COMPUTERS!THAT'S IT!
Every morning I get up to a good-natured fun loving guy. My first question to him is, "Are you going to work on the computer today? The computer turns him into a raging angry man whom I no longer recognize. I have decided that the computer is destroying marriages and blowing up any chance of great relationships evolving into soul mate status.

SO PLEASE! Listen to me.
Everyone take those computers and donate them to the electronic waste collectors and take back your marriages. Maybe getting rid of all electronic devices would give you a chance of walking or riding bikes in the park, walking on the beach, going skiing, and a thousand other things couples in love like to do.

CHEER UP! THERE IS HOPE!
There still are thousands of love stories out there and many people who have learned how wonderful long-term marriage can be in spite of owning computers. Sometimes it takes a second or third try at relationship, but you can get there. It helps to have a good counselor who believes in long-term relationships to help you figure it out. Reading blogs like this one can help as well. GOOD LUCK!

Romance and Horror a Love Story Kirk and Leila Bottomly -- 37 years

Leila and I have two anniversaries--our wedding date and--our first kiss which happened on April 17, 1970. Until then she was my best friend Fred's sister. I was 15. She was two years and one grade older. These are details you won't get from her. I hung out every week at Fred's house. She'd hang out with us and she was a lot prettier than Fred.

Friday nights I would go over or they'd come over, and we'd watch the weekend horror show on TV together until nearly midnight. On this Friday evening our high school was putting on a production of West Side Story. We went with other dates. I took Marjorie and she went with Mike.

At intermission, Laila and I met up at the concession stand in the lobby and innocently arranged to rendezvous after the show for our usual Friday night routine. She had Mike drop her off at my house. Fred didn't make it that night. So it was just the two of us.

We watched The Blob with Steve McQueen--an extraterrestrial blob of carnivorous protoplasm lands on earth, terrorizes a town and a group of rowdy teenagers. The teens end up trapped in one of those small-town silver airstream diners and the blob completely envelops it like a giant green jelly bean. I think they blasted their way out with fire extinguishers--the secret weapon was cold.

I don't really remember too many of the details. But it got warmer in our family room. When things get scary, you naturally want to grab somebody. I got up enough courage to finally kiss her. And the rest, as they say, is history.

I pretty much decided right there and then to marry her. Where was I going to find someone else who could kiss like that? Five years later on June 21 we tied the knot. And sealed it with a kiss..
In June we will celebrate our 37th anniversary.

Loving Creatively--Bill and Lois Cooper--married 55 years

In 1978 while living in Anchorage Alaska, I started working again when our youngest son, Jerry, was a senior in high school. I had enjoyed being a stay at home mom and wife all those years. When I started working at the Anchorage Daily News, I was learning a new job and it was stressful.

About that time, the Sheraton Hotel was opening downtown. They had a beautiful jade staircase going to the 2nd floor that friends were talking about. Since we often took "drives" to check out the town, Bill suggested we drive by the new Sheraton one Saturday afternoon to take a look. So, we toured the new hotel and climbed the beautiful new jade staircase and checked out the new first floor cafe'.

Bill said, "Hey, let's check and see if they have any rooms for the night." I said, "NO! We haven't any luggage. They will get the wrong idea." "Ahhh, Honey, let's just go see", and he dragged me to the front desk and talked to the clerk with me hanging behind.

"Yes, I have a room for you. Do you have any luggage?"  "Yes," Bill responded as I stood there with my mouth open in surprise. Bill had made reservations for a "special" he had seen advertised to get people interested in the new hotel. "One night with dinner and breakfast in bed the next morning."

What a shock and wonderful surprise! Bill had had the boys run into the bathroom and put everything they thought I might need for an overnight into a paper bag and bring it to the car. He had packed a small suitcase for us and put it in the trunk. Needless to say, it was wonderful and relaxing! What a loving creative husband! This is one example of many lovely times in our 55 years of marriage!

Found Love By Missing the Bus--Curt and Nancy McClusky

While I was living in Europe, I went to England for the first week of Christmas vacation. I returned exhausted and slept through my alarm the next morning. I woke up too late to make it to the bus for the church ski trip to Austria. I drove to the bus stop to find my friends gone. Now what do I do?

The pastor at the base chapel told me the ski group had gone to Worgl. That's all he knew. I had already paid for the trip so I had nothing to lose. I looked up Worgl on the map and got in my little Fiat with no radio and started the long drive. I arrived in Worgl the next morning after a night in a hotel. I asked someone at the hotel desk if they knew where the Tyrolian Tours would be staying. They told me where I might possibly find them. Sure enough. That's where I found them waiting for rides to the slopes. What a relief!

My little car became useful. Since there was not enough transportation for the group, I ended up driving daily to the slopes for skiing. I met HIM there and gave him regular rides. We had fun on the slopes and at dinners as well. We then made the long drive back to Zweibrucken in the Fiat together. I was happy that he would ride back with me. We had a lot in common in our beliefs and views. He was stationed in the Air Force where I was teaching. The rest is history. Now we have been married for 38 happy years.

Curt knew my name well because the tour guides on the bus kept calling out my name to see if I had arrived at the bus before they actually left without me. "Is Nancy Reed here? Nancy Reed? Nancy Reed?"  Without that oversleeping and no Fiat in Worgl, would we have met and fallen in love?