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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Don't Expect What You Cannot Get

Two very different people decide to spend their lives together. Now they must agree on many things. They no longer can call all of the shots or be in charge of every decision. The big question: How can I be who I am and still be connected to you?

Sometimes one partner tries to be in charge. He/she pushes the other one to see things the way he/she sees them, because his/her way is the "right" way. Maybe the other person cannot change his position without losing self. Learn to negotiate and to seek to understand.

Use words like: Tell me more about the way you see it. I hear you saying........is that right? What are the feelings? Any more thoughts that I need to consider? How can we make a decision in which we can both get some of what we want?

Most things are not all right or all wrong. They fall somewhere in between. You do not want to change each other. You want to make your differences bring you a fuller richer life.

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