Sunday, June 29, 2008
Soul mates must be willing to listen and learn. When a couple comes into my office, it doesn't take long for me to figure out what has gone wrong and what each person must work on to make the relationship better. Unfortunately, I cannot lay it out in a confrontational way like Dr. Phil does. His clients have agreed to hear what he has to say. Basically, they cannot leave.
Here is what often happens when counselors in private practice confront their clients. They become very defensive and some of them will jump up and yell, "I won't stay here and listen to that. I'm out of here." Sometimes they come back but often they don't. They have come to the counselor to have him/her fix their partner. That never works!
If you want to become soul mates, each of you have to be open to working on yourself. If you drop your defenses and seek to understand, your chance of becoming soul mates soars.