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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Virginia Satir and Her First Freedom


Change Is Possible
In May, 2009, I shared Virginia Satir's Five Freedoms. The freedom to see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was, or will be is the first of what she calls the five freedoms. She believed we have to stay open to new possibilities, to try new ideas and practice using them. Doing that would make it possible to experience self-esteem. Before we can change we must be honest with our feelings. That requires taking a risk and doing something we have never done before or doing the same thing in a new way.

Change Creates Change
Change affects how we feel about ourselves, how we communicate, and how willing we are to continue risking. As we become more and more authentic we can make real contact with ourselves and others. We can let go of manipulation, competition, criticism, and defensive power plays. We can be open to learning and enjoy the freedom to own our own power. Personal power gives energy to develop responsibility and make good decisions. It prevents living as life long victims.

When We Change Ourselves, Those Around Us Must Change
We have all heard this truth, "You cannot change anyone but yourself." Interestingly, when we are open to learning and change, we will make better contact with ourselves and those around us. That means they cannot continue to relate to us in the same way. Good boundary setting, risk taking, comfort with our own feelings and the feelings of others increase our self-esteem and self power. That means closer, better relationships.

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