Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The premise of my book, "Becoming Soul Mates" is that you don't find a soul mate, you learn to become one. To become soul mates you must accept the fact that relationship constantly changes as you go through the stages of life. You need not feel sad about that because as Anne Lindburgh says "all living relationships are in process of change, of expansion, and must perpetually be building themselves new forms."
A part of the excitement of a growing relationship is the kaleidoscope effect changes bring. New knowledge, new challenges, new discoveries, new growth in your partner and in you. People who try to hang on to the "honeymoon stage" or the "child-rearing stage", for example, will never be successful at becoming soul mates.
These changes are often called the stress points in relationships. Unfortunately, both partners may not change at the same time. This stresses the left-behind partner and may lead to infidelity, disconnection, and even divorce. If you can survive these changes your love deepens, trust grows, and your relationship matures. You may even realize you have become soul mates, comfortable with giving your partner freedom to grow.