Increase the Odds for Good Relationship

Learning to understand and love another person unconditionally is one of the challenges and joys of life. When I read in "People Magazine" about couples who believe they have found their soul mate only to see the relationship disintegrate in a few years, it makes me sad. The concept of "tending the garden" eludes them.

Early in most relationships people tend to feel less important to each other. If they talk to their partner about it, they may complain. That sets up a conflicted communication system of blame and defense which makes the problem worse.

When you feel less important to your partner, begin the dialogue with a positive statement. "I enjoy being with you. When you come home late from work, I feel lonely. I wish we could spend more time together." The partner might respond defensively, "I can't help it. You don't want me to lose my job, do you?" Then you can say, "What  can we do to spend more time together?"

Awareness of prioritizing time together is essential to the growth of love in relationship.