Friday, July 16, 2010
Is it helpful to set up an evaluation form to check out how each person is doing in relationship? Maybe, if you are working with a good marriage therapist.
If you and your partner want to evaluate your relationship on your own, focus on what each of you are doing right. Years ago, I heard well-known clinician, William Glasser say, "There is no such thing as constructive criticism." I thought he was wrong.
I have learned that when it comes to relationship, he is right. People do not respond well to criticism even when it's meant to be helpful. Sometimes they will obsess about something their partner or parent thought would help. Years later they may bring it up again and declare accusingly, "but you said......" Not good for relationship!
Encouragement works wonders. Notice what you and your partner do right.